The Benefits of Christian Premarital Counseling

Choosing Christian premarital counseling has helped many couples get clear on their relationship, work through obstacles, and learn lifelong skills.

The benefits of Christian premarital counseling are vast. You might think that you know your soon-to-be spouse. You’re in love with this person, so what is left to learn? Unfortunately, we cannot go merely on our feelings. There is more to a relationship than how you feel about the other person.

What Christian Premarital Counseling Can Do For You

Christian premarital counseling seeks to bring those things to the surface to discuss and circumvent potential obstacles. The following is a list of several benefits worth discussing during a counseling session.

Family History

Knowing each other’s family history can help you understand their perspective. For example, if you grew up in poverty, you may have more resiliency to financial downturns than your spouse.

Family history can also affect how one reacts to situations or treats people. If they were abused as a child, they may be short-tempered with those they love. Everyone can change the trajectory of their life no matter where they started, but they might need help.

Goals for the Future

Do your goals mesh with your partner’s goals? For example, if your goal is to finish your education degree and teach in a local school, you might have an issue if your significant other wants to move several states away to work in a rural setting. You can find common ground, but you may need help brainstorming solutions that will work for both of you.

Learn Communication Skills

Many marriage troubles are due to a lack of communication skills. We often speak without hearing the other person. We might even concoct an answer while the other person is still speaking to us.

A counselor can introduce you to communication skills like active listening, asking open-ended questions, watching for nonverbal communication, speaking clearly and concisely, and displaying empathy toward your loved one.

Identify Obstacles

We have all heard of red flags, but how many have noticed them when we are in love? A third party, like a counselor, can help identify obstacles that might cause you issues in the future. Counseling is a safe place to discover and work through problems before they become roadblocks in your marriage.

Discuss Conflict Resolution

Many people handle conflict the way they were raised. Maybe they storm out during an argument, slam doors, or scream and yell. You and your significant other may have entirely different methods for expressing anger.

Counseling is a safe place to navigate anger and learn conflict resolution. Anger is not necessarily a wrong emotion, but how we manage it can lead to either a healthy relationship or a strained marriage.

Discuss Marriage Expectations

To avoid tension in the marriage, discuss expectations early in the relationship. For example, do you want to assume more traditional gender roles for housekeeping, with the husband working outside the home and the wife staying home? Do you plan to share the household duties equally? Would you rather (and can you afford) a housekeeper? Conflict can result if one spouse expects the other to assume a task if the responsibility is not shared.

Parenting Styles

If you plan to have children or already have children from a prior marriage, you will need to discuss parenting styles and come to an agreement. Were you raised by strict parents and want to follow in their footsteps? But what if your spouse wants to maintain a more laid-back and relaxed parenting style? A counselor can work as a mediator to help you reach a conclusion that combines your parenting styles for what may be best for the children.

Managing Finances

A marriage can end due to mismanagement of funds. Finances play a huge part in a marriage, including paying off student loans, planning a wedding, buying a house and car, going back to college, having a child, and medical expenses. Both spouses should have access to the financial records.

If one of you struggles with shopping addiction or gambling, speak to a counselor to learn how to manage finances, discuss checking and savings accounts, pay off debt, and budget for vacations and holidays.

Talk to a Counselor Before Taking the Leap

Before taking the leap, consider Christian premarital counseling as part of your wedding planning. You both must have a good mindset and are on the same page regarding your marriage and future life together.

Call us at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling today to book a session with a counselor for Christian premarital counseling in Huntington Beach, California.