Uprooting Bitterness as a Christian

As Christians, we are called to uproot bitterness. It isn’t an easy task, but it is an important one. To take on Christlikeness, we need to steer clear of a mindset of hatred and other sins. We also need to adopt a grateful heart that recognizes our position with God and honors Him. Bitterness has the potential to interfere with one’s mindset and heart for God.

What Bitterness Is Like

I’ve been patient for years. When is it his turn to have some patience? Doesn’t my husband understand I’m only human? Why can’t he stop what he’s doing long enough to take care of my needs for once? 

I can’t believe we are back here again. Why do I even have to ask? It’s basic decency to help around our own house. Taking out the trash is the least of the things he can do. Why can’t he just do it? Why does it have to come with an attitude? Don’t make me ask then! Take it out already!

All she does is nag me. How’s anyone supposed to take that? If she doesn’t want me to yell at her, then why won’t she shut up? All I want is for her to show me some kind of love and to stop bringing up things that make me angry. It’s like, why can’t she leave it alone? 

The above examples are all temptations to and/or displays of active bitterness. When bitterness takes over, it makes it all about what the other person must do to make us feel better. It quickly runs the show and breeds hatred and stubbornness. At its core, bitterness is self-idolizing. In other words, it’s selfish.

Who is the problem?

Without uprooting bitterness, as Christians, we take on the mindset of the world. A self-idolizing one that excludes God and promotes disobedience. “She’s the problem” quickly turns into, “I’m not God, only He would put up with something so long.”

Thinking such things ignores the wisdom of the following Bible passages:

• Matthew 5:48
• Matthew 16:24
• Mark 8:34
• Luke 9:23
• Leviticus 11:44-45
• Leviticus 19:2
• Leviticus 20:7
• Leviticus 20:26
• Matthew 5:48
• Hebrews 12:14
• 1 Thessalonians 4:7
• 2 Corinthians 7:1
• Ephesians 1:4
• Romans 12:1
• Romans 6-7
• 1 John 3:3
• Isaiah 35:8
• Isaiah 57:15

All these scriptures point to our God wanting His children to be holy like Him. The encouraging news is, He who calls us enables us. For as Romans argues, what did Jesus die for but for us to stop living in sin? Bitterness allows us to ignore these scriptural teachings and adopt our own deceptive thinking.

Bitterness calls us to demand our own way and serve ourselves as masters. Jesus warned us that “one cannot serve two masters.” If this isn’t a case for uprooting bitterness, I’m not sure what is.

So, for those of you who are still reading and convinced bitterness must go, let me now shift to how we can uproot bitterness as Christians. Becoming Christlike involves denying ourselves. In order to uproot bitterness, we need to start by recognizing it. Bitterness starts in the earliest stages of grumbling and complaining. Raising a complaint against someone has its place, but it is not something that God takes lightly.

God’s Measuring Tape

One trigger for bitterness (our own as well as what we provoke others) is judging without God’s measuring tape. We are called to use judgment so that we and others are drawn back to Christ.

To make sure our judgments are according to God’s measuring tape, and not our own, we need to use the Bible to see if our judgments match God’s or if we are adding to the requirements God has already set.

A sign that your judgments may be outside of God’s is if you are assigning time. Our timing often doesn’t match God’s, nor does our patience. So, if you’re tempted to expect something in a specific time, you must check that with God’s Word to see if it’s His judgment or your own at play. Setting ourselves up with godly expectations reduces opportunities for bitterness all around.

Squashing grumbles/complaints

Squashing grumbling and complaining is where uprooting bitterness as a Christian has to start. At least it needs to be given priority.

Grumbling and complaining are not only bad for the spirit, but they are an offense to God. In addition, grumbling and complaining don’t just breed bitterness; they are the beginning of wrath (i.e., explosive anger) and cruelty.

A way to squash grumbling and complaining is to catch them happening and replace them with any mix of the following:

• A deep breath
• Gratitude
• Honorable thoughts
• Beautiful Thoughts
• Thoughts of something worthy of praise
• Positive song
• Dance movement
• A Hug
• Stretching
• Change of task
• Change of rooms
• Drink of water
• Bite of something pleasant
• Telling someone something positive
• Smile
• Pet a pet
• Exercise move (squat, push-up, etc.)
• Extended eye contact
• Quick little positive moments to replace quick little negative ones.

This helps to train your brain to develop a more positive way of coping with the negative that’s making you grumble.

How the Fear of the Lord Helps Christians Uproot Bitterness

If the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, then it is the best starting point for working anything out. There is ample wisdom that comes from the fear of the Lord in relation to uprooting bitterness.

Remember who God is

Remembering who God is reminds us that it is He from whom our help comes, who is the ultimate judge, and to whom we are accountable. When it comes to uprooting bitterness as a Christian, taking time to remember God for who He is decreases our overall stress and humbles us at the same time.

Remember who we are

Remembering who we are in relation to God also helps us maintain humility. Remembering that we are not the judge of all the earth, nor are we perfect, and we have little room to judge, helps to prevent bitterness from growing.

Remember who we are in Christ

Because of Christ, the Christian is set free. We are cleansed by His blood and forgiven. Salvation is the prize set before us. When we focus on this, we can replace our grumblings with gratitude.

The soul’s focus also applies to the other person. As a brother or sister in Christ, they are running the race with you, chosen by the same God. As an unbeliever, they are a soul over whom Jesus is the judge, and His judgment is perfect.

In any situation, remembering who we are in Christ can lift the spirit and spur us on to good works; thus, the uprooting of bitterness takes place.

Not easy, but worth it

Uprooting bitterness is not easy, but it is worth it. While one could argue that a lack of bitterness is simply a good thing, what really makes uprooting bitterness so worthwhile is the strengthening of our relationships.

Our relationships with one another, with strangers and family, and with God impact our lives. The health of these relationships determines whether that impact is positive or negative, and uprooting the illness helps lessen the negative impact all around.

If uprooting bitterness does not lead to a healthier relationship between you and someone else because things still need to be worked on, it will still help you relate to the world with more peace in your heart and a cleaner standing with God.

If you are struggling with bitterness or any other type of anger and are finding it difficult to manage, reach out to our reception team to schedule an appointment with me or one of the other counselors in our association.