The Struggle of Parenting Teenagers: Part Two

The struggle of parenting teenagers is real; am I right?

It’s the age where independence and peer focus skyrocket to a whole new level. It’s the age where parents’ fears resurface from the beginning of their lives: “Who will they turn out to be?” “Will life go well for them?” “Will they be successful?”

These are just a few of the questions asked by parents across the world. As teenagers mature into adulthood, parents are faced with the final years of pouring themselves into their kids. Along with that come new challenges, new struggles, and unknowns no one could have predicted.

In part one of this two-part series, “The Struggle of Parenting Teenagers,” we took a look at common struggles teenagers deal with while they try out new behaviors, understand in new ways, and feel new levels of emotions. In part one, we also dove deeper into the common responses parents give to their teenagers in the face of these struggles and highlighted the potential shortcomings of these responses.

Here in part two of this series, we will develop a set of alternative responses when things get hard with teenagers. Whether the first response goes well for you or not, these responses deserve some thought as you navigate your teenager’s developing years.

There is no perfect formula. No, one-size-fits-all approach that will get you the perfect teenager and the “perfect parent” award. Instead, the list below is meant to serve as more in your arsenal of thought and behavior toward your teenager as you guide them through these next formative years of their lives.

Alternative Responses in Parenting Teenagers

In place of or in addition to any of the responses detailed in part one, here are some responses for parents to consider when facing difficult teenage behavior.

Give time

Giving teenagers your time can be an impactful response (whether appreciated at first or not) to a teenager who is engaging in problematic behavior.

This response looks like selecting an amount of time according to the type of behavior (maybe starting with a week, or trying it for a month), and engaging in intentional time with your teenager each day or instead of alternative activities (e.g., in place of going to practice, the teenager stays home with the parent and plays games, finishes house projects, completes Bible studies, exercise, etc.).

Engage with the church

In the Body of Christ, there are people of faith, old and mature enough to pour their energy, experience, and love into youth. During times when you, as the parent, cannot be with the teenager, and during even times when you can, consider setting up time for your child to spend time with other people of faith. This allows the teenager to spend time with and talk to someone who is not a parent, but who shares similar values to you.

Be the leader

As a leader in the home, taking the initiative to model the desired behavior of the teenager goes a long way. This includes refraining from electronic use while in their presence, engaging in church and/or community activities, etc.

If you feel like you’re already doing all of this, you’re off to a great start. Consider how you can come along with your teenager during this time and engage with them while they are participating in positive activities.

Have heart-to-hearts

Your teenager may be the strong, silent type. Try utilizing different locations, environments, and activities to open them up. Consistency works wonders in training them up to expect you will be talking with them, and that they will be expected to talk with you.

Activities can look as simple as Q&A prompts or magazine quizzes. Take things up a notch by shooting some hoops or going to miniature golf. Don’t be afraid of going to grab some ice cream and walking on the beach.

Engage in a service/community mindset

Teenagers are capable of serving major roles in the family and community. Their impact can be as large as the functioning of the family home, or stretch into the external workings of the city they live in.

If the teenager doesn’t play an active role in the home, now is a great time to establish one or more. These roles can include spending time with siblings, helping out around the house, serving the grandparents, volunteer work, community service, etc.

Where to look for help

Parents and teenagers need lots of support. There are new things to face and new expectations to live by for everyone. The struggle of parenting teenagers (as well as being a teenager) is even more difficult without a community or proper sources to lean on.

Everyone has opinions, so when it comes to taking advice, it is important to vet it.

The Bible

The Bible is a source of wisdom and truths that are unchanging and full of promise. When looking to the Bible for counsel, be careful to study the heart of God in the matter-not just taking a verse and blanketing it over your situation based on your own understanding. Using the Bible as a source of counsel comes by studying the word, the context of each word, and gaining an understanding of who God is and His instructions for us, His followers.

If your teenager is not a follower of Christ and doesn’t recognize the Bible’s authority over them, it is important to take counsel from the Bible for your actions as a parent, as well as how to address unbelievers. This is in addition to how God wants your teenager to be counseled by His Word to become a believer and gain assurance of their salvation.

Don’t assume the Bible will have meaning in your teenager’s life before a) you work on your own life, and b) your teenager has been saved.

People

People are an essential part of our lives. We need people to help us function and thrive. God Himself tells us through the Bible how our influences not only matter, but also how the Church is a critical part of our spiritual growth and faith journeys.

Understandably, it can be difficult to establish relationships with good, faith-filled people. Time, effort, grace, and forgiveness are necessary components of keeping and growing healthy relationships; most of those are in short supply because of one thing or another.

How, then, does one go about choosing people to speak into and influence our lives and the lives of our teenagers? The first step is to pray. Pray for the wisdom of both you and the people you are choosing. Pray for the strength to stand up for what is right. Pray for a filling of time, effort, grace, and forgiveness in all parties involved.

The next step is to reach out. If you are already involved in some sort of church group or have family that hold strong Christian values, you’ve got a ready-made pool of people to invite to pray with you, spend time with you, counsel you, and spend time with or counsel your teenager.

If you do not already have a built-in group to select from, then getting involved in one can take time you don’t feel like you have. The beauty of God being outside of time is that He has already gone before you in this and is not anxious for things to move at a specific speed. So, it’s time to get serious about getting involved with your local church.

In the meantime, while you are working on growing relationships and testing those waters for your family, try connecting with the resources of trusted theologians. These resources can include sermons, commentaries, web articles, books, podcasts, etc.

When evaluating your options for who to get closer with and connect your teenager with, consider exploring the book of Titus. In just three chapters, the book of Titus lays out guidelines for leaders. From how they are to be behaving in life, to what their family’s behavior looks like, to what they teach.

Church Family

While a church family is included in the people who can support you during the parenting years, a church family serves as a greater source of encouragement. Involving yourself in church is an important part of living as a Christian and shepherding your family in Godly ways.

This is more than just serving in a ministry and going on Sundays. Involving yourself in church to the level of church becoming a family means being sharpened, sharpening others, discipling others, being discipled, using your gifts, being poured into, and pouring out into others.

Most of the New Testament letters to the churches outline God’s design for you and your family to be a part of His Body. They are there for you to study and guide you through every struggle you can face in the church.

Family

Family is an important part of every teenager’s life. Whatever state your family is in, start there.

Strengthening relationships is the next step. This includes your teenager as well as interactions between your teenager and other members of your family. This is done by taking time to invest by listening, enjoying each other’s company, engaging in new or liked activities by each party (it doesn’t have to be liked by both/all parties), and/or working on chores/household/service projects.

Role models are another important area to evaluate when parenting. You are a role model to your teenager; which other adults are as well? Are you being protective and supportive in teaching your teenager how to discern between positive and negative role models?

Lastly, your teenager is a role model for others who are younger (in addition to the influence they have over their peers). Have you done the work to pour into your teenager the teaching necessary for developing a value system and way of behaving that properly encourages them for such a role?

How do you know if you need a therapist for parenting teenagers?

When you don’t know where to start addressing the struggle of parenting teenagers, your first thought can be to contact an expert and get counsel. Reaching out to a Christian therapist can be an appropriate first step for you to have space and counsel to work on your struggles.

If you are not yet connected to a church or have limited access to support, then a Christian counselor can be a support while you develop those relationships.

If there are few or no trusted adults to support your teenager, then a Christian counselor can be a support while you seek out and develop relationships. Do not discount your own relationship with your teenager in this equation. Developing a trusted relationship can take some time, and the teenager’s willingness will be a factor.

Maybe you need help mediating between you and your spouse about parenting teenagers. A Christian counselor would be appropriate help for the two of you in addressing the struggle of parenting teens together. If you see yourself as disconnected from your teen, a Christian therapist can help you reconnect with your child.

Wherever you are on the journey, if you need support, we have therapists available to talk this week. Check us out at https://cachristiancounseling.com/

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The Struggle of Parenting Teenagers: Part One

The struggle of parenting teenagers isn’t something new. It’s the age when children start to practice being adults. Their minds develop in ways that enable them to start seeing the world in a different and critical light. Parents and other adults can experience teenagers as engaging, productive, and fun, or, on the other hand, as disrespectful, stubborn, and troubled.

The Stress of Parenting Teenagers

Everyone has their good and bad days, but what happens when the worry starts to creep in for parents? That worry says, “The bad days outnumber the good.” The struggle intensifies, and a growing fear of what is to come takes over.

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • “Is this normal behavior?”
  • “Does this mean they are _____?!”
  • “How do I get the lying to stop?”
  • “I just don’t know how to talk with my teenager.”
  • “All they do is argue with me.”
  • “My teenager just needs more self-confidence.”

If so, you are not alone. Teenagers can experience depression, body shame, low self-confidence, new levels of stress, and access to substances. These issues, along with developing brains, can lead to communication struggles and difficulties regulating emotions.

This article is part one of two articles that develop an understanding of the struggles parents face when deciding how to parent through teenage years. This article will attempt to expand your perspective on common issues teenagers face and common responses parents have to those issues. Part two will dive into alternative responses, where to look for help, and when to seek a therapist.

Common Issues Face by Teenagers and Their Families

Self Esteem

Teenagers develop a new level of ability to see others, compare with others, and are trying to work out what is good/right and bad/wrong for themselves with new reasoning capabilities. This can lead a teenager to lose or decline in self-esteem, whether internally done (comparing themselves with others they see) or externally influenced (when others make negative comparisons of them).

Communication Breakdowns

Communication breaks down in a family when teenagers struggle to express themselves. It also temporarily becomes more difficult for teenagers to process and relay information as their brains are distracted by new developments. Receiving correction is also not processed in the same way, as the teenager can try out reasoning skills and work through their newfound independence and desires.

Lying

Because teenagers are prone to compare themselves to others, are working on their own sense of right and wrong, and thinking in new ways, they can be prone to lying or communication that leaves out details. Lying or leaving out information can quickly become a habit that frustrates the entire family and creates a lack of proper communication across circle groups (i.e., family, friends, school, sports, etc.).

Fighting

Teenagers have developing reasoning skills. While practicing the art of reason, it has the potential to become a fight. These fights can range from simple rebuttals to full-blown screaming as teenagers get wrapped up in their own understanding, and parents are at a loss for how to respond and maintain authority.

Isolation

Teenagers are finding their way, developing rapidly, and often taking on increased responsibility, so they need more downtime, and they crave social connection. These needs and cravings create a propensity to isolate from family and spend less time in or around the home.

Self-Harm

Self-harming behavior is alarming to families, and at times, shameful as well. Any level of self-harming behavior can be difficult for families to manage and address. Any such behavior also has the potential to create new questions for the family and decrease trust in the teenager.

  • Physical Physical self-harming behaviors include actions such as abstaining from eating, purging after eating, over-eating, cutting, burning, slapping/punching/hitting. Teenagers may engage in these behaviors for several reasons, such as low self-esteem or to escape various types of stress.
  • Sexual Teenagers may engage in reckless, rough, or other inappropriate sexual behavior (i.e., sharing themselves via pornographic avenues). Again, teenagers who engage in these self-harming behaviors do so for a number of reasons.
  • Substances Substances can be drugs or alcohol of any amount. Teenagers may reason that there is no harm being done when using these substances. However, many studies have shown harm from the use of any controlled substance, tobacco or otherwise, on the developing and developed brains of individuals. Just because there is no perceived harm does not mean it is not there.

How much substance use is recognized as a problem can range from any use to abundant use. People often claim that there is no problem with using substances unless there is a frequent negative impact on the person’s life. No matter when or if the substance becomes a problem to the teenager or their parents, the motivation for using the substance is something important to be addressed.

Any of these issues, or any additional not-so-common issues that you and your teenager face, can present a level of difficulty that surpasses what parents and teens see as their capacity to deal with on their own. In other words, it’s normal to face new challenges that you and your teenager will need help with.

The parent response can vary from incident to incident and parent to parent. Below are a few common responses from parents.

Common Responses When Parenting Teenagers

This is not an exhaustive list by any means. This list includes reactions that parents have when facing any issue with their teenager’s behavior post-reprimanding, such as yelling and/or silence.

Take away privileges Whether it be a response to try and restrict access to the troubled behavior or an attempt to simply decrease freedom, taking away privileges is typically a common first approach. While this can seem like it works, it often doesn’t fix the behavior and yields only temporary results-if any.

Some teenagers are extremely reactive toward their privileges (such as electronics) being taken away, and others couldn’t care less. Either reaction can lead parents to wonder how to encourage their teenager to behave better.

Send them to church This is not every parent’s approach, but it becomes a part of many Christian homes where parents make it a rule to attend church. Parents who have teenagers who are engaging in difficult behavior will demand that their children continue joining them at church, or send them to church by themselves.

The difficulty of this approach comes when parents believe that the church will “fix” the teenager. Many times, it does not fix the behavior and can drive a wedge between the teenager and the church.

Send them to an expert Similar to sending the teenager to church, outsourcing the problem to an expert is thought by parents to be the “fix.” Sending your teenager to an expert will only have the opportunity to yield positive results if the teenager is open to admitting they have a problem, desires to work with the expert, and can access the tools and implement them.

Let them be This may sound like an odd one to add to a list of common responses of parents of teenagers caught in problematic behavior, but it is an important one to highlight. Letting the teenager “be” can come as a first response or after a different response wears off. For example, some parents may restrict freedoms for a week after an incident, and then simply allow the freedoms to be restored (sometimes prematurely) without any other intervention.

As a first response, parents can reason that they don’t have much insight to help the problem, the teenager will eventually self-correct, or that the problematic behavior isn’t “that bad.”

Help Parenting Teenagers

Any of these reactions are appropriate and/or fitting at times. The above reactions may be all a parent needs to see their teenager turn around in their behavior and straighten their ways.

What happens when the struggle of parenting teenagers seems like it’s too much, when the parent’s reaction doesn’t seem to evoke any level of change from the teenager?

It is common for parents to have at least one encounter of feeling lost and not knowing what to do with their teenager’s behavior. In part two of “The Struggle of Parenting Teenagers,” we will explore alternative responses to the ones found above, where to find help, and how to tell if your teenager needs a therapist.

Want to talk with someone today? Contact our team at cachristiancounseling.com or call us at 619-877-2560.

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5 Types of OCD and Signs to Watch For

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, commonly known as OCD, is a mental disorder marked by obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. OCD interferes with daily life and relationships if left untreated. This article will help you learn more about the types of OCD and signs to recognize when to seek help for yourself or a loved one.

Types of OCD

There are five common types of OCD. Most symptoms fall into these categories. Someone with OCD may not display all of the behaviors in a category. Only a mental health care professional can diagnose it and the category it falls into.

Signs of OCD

The signs of OCD may seem odd to those peering in from the outside while observing a loved one’s behaviors. However, intrusive or obsessive thoughts dominate a person’s mind and lead to compulsive behaviors. When counselors treat the signs of OCD, they work on helping the client shift their mindset, reframe negative thoughts, and behave differently.

Read through the list of the signs, then speak to a counselor about any behaviors troubling you.

Contamination OCD

Contamination OCD is a fear of illnesses and germs. People with this type are afraid that if they do not care for themselves, they will get ill. This fear creates cleansing rituals as compulsive behaviors.

For example, the person may wash their hands in a specific way and frequency until they feel they have killed as many germs as possible. The pandemic may have made contamination OCD worse in people as they tried to avoid the virus.

  • Excessive cleanliness
  • Handwashing
  • Fear of contamination
  • Cleansing rituals

Good personal hygiene is necessary and should not cause worry and fear. Counseling can help you reframe your thoughts and emotions to change the behavior associated with contamination and cleansing.

Checking OCD

Checking OCD is one of the more well-known versions of the condition. This person struggles to resume their day because they lost track of time while double-checking things around the house. This can make people re-enter their homes to check the locks and appliances. They may call their loved ones repeatedly to check in on them.

There is a deep fear that if they do not follow a routine or say the correct verbiage (like “Be careful!”), their loved one will get hurt or not survive.

  • Counting
  • Checking
  • Extreme fear or worry that something horrible will happen

Anxiety and fear are hallmarks of checking OCD. Counseling can teach you to soothe your nervous system as you manage the condition.

Symmetry and Ordering OCD

Symmetry and ordering OCD goes beyond the desire for a neat and tidy environment. With this type of OCD, the impulse to keep everything in alignment is overwhelming. People struggling with symmetry and ordering OCD may spend time organizing their pantries, desks, closets, and drawers. They may lash out at loved ones for not keeping items where they belong. They may have trouble at work due to too much time spent counting and arranging.

  • Symmetry
  • Ordering
  • Counting
  • Arranging

Constant organizing can rob you of time. Treatments, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), can help you learn to change your thoughts.

Intrusive Thoughts OCD

Intrusive thoughts in OCD are disturbing to those struggling with it. Frightening and violent images fill their minds. They are worried that they may give in and hurt the people they love most in the world. The impulse to act on these thoughts grows stronger.

They become fearful of what others might think of them if they share their thoughts. If you struggle with intrusive thoughts and are afraid of your actions, seek professional help immediately. A counselor understands and will work with you to manage and diminish these thoughts and impulses.

  • Intrusive and obsessive thoughts
  • Fear of hurting other people
  • Disturbing images

Intrusive and obsessive thoughts do not mean you were born evil. God created you for His purpose. Christian counseling can help you overcome these impulses.

Hoarding OCD

Although rarely mentioned, hoarding is a type of OCD. People struggling with hoarding have trouble throwing away or donating items. There are several reasons why someone keeps items, including what most people deem as trash.

If they grew up in scarcity, they may be afraid they will need an item again and won’t be able to find it. They may view items as worth a lot of money or having sentimental value. In many cases, they feel a sense of security surrounded by their belongings.

Hoarding causes issues in relationships. The family may be embarrassed to have anyone over, and packed homes may have a pungent odor. The more clutter in a home, the more of a fire risk and health hazard it can be.

Getting Help

Do these types of OCD sound familiar? You may recognize your signs of OCD from any of the categories: contamination, checking, symmetry and ordering, intrusive thoughts, or hoarding. Contact our office today at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling in California to schedule an appointment with a counselor in Huntington Beach to help you manage your symptoms and regain control of your life.

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How Trauma Therapy Can Help with the Avoidance of Pain

We have all stubbed a toe or sprained an ankle, gotten bitten or sunburned at some point in the last month. The instant ouch, the resounding throb, and tender joints for days are common for most ordinary people, and the more extreme and active you are, the more likely those will become.

Most of us have also eaten a new delicacy or old favorite, and gotten sick enough to throw it up due to food poisoning, and in future days, months, even decades for some, become so averse to the food, we completely avoid it.

Emotional Pain

Sometimes emotional pain caused by mistreatment while a child, difficult, frightening and uncontrollable things, feeling physical pain above the threshold of toleration, or being inappropriately touched or betrayed by someone, can make our bodies and minds respond similarly, just like becoming averse to food, or nervousness about playing that sport again in case your ankle might hurt again.

We are instinctively averse to things that cause us pain. A conversation about healthy fear versus unhealthy fear and healthy stress response and unhealthy stress response is valid. But for now, we can assert it is true that a powerful force in our mind prompts us to take special note of pain and quickly choose options to deal with it somehow.

Some of the ways we deal with emotional pain are suppressing our feelings, addiction, denial when it comes up, walling ourselves off from more pain or situations, fantasy and daydreaming, and other kinds of avoidance.

What we get from these are anxiety, a feeling of lurking feelings underneath the surface, and hopeless, cynical, antisocial, or isolative behavior. The problem with these is that none of them deal with root causes. All of them look to reduce or avoid symptoms.

Broken Cisterns

In Jeremiah 2:13, God tells the prophet Jeremiah about his people Israel: “For my people have committed two evils: They have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water.”

We can see a parallel to the broken cisterns that can hold no water, to those instances of avoiding pain, our rushed way of acting, but not getting to the root solution. Historically, cisterns were reservoirs or wells that would be built to hold and contain water. God used this metaphor to point out to His people that certain avenues and choices will never truly satisfy and comfort us or support us with the right provision of healing.

Ice cream is great for celebration, but not great for reducing the pain of rejection from people. Leaving in a hurry and swearing at someone to get away might be useful if being chased by an assailant, but not if you need to work a thorny issue with a family member. There is a reason and a season for things that make something an applicable or not-so-applicable choice to cope. The same goes for emotional, mental, and spiritual pain.

What is trauma therapy?

Let’s now take this philosophical topic and distill it to the psychological topic you came here for; how trauma therapy (“trauma” being the Greek word for wound, and so trauma therapy is the attending to the wound) can intersect with pain and help the sufferer face it and cope with it in the right way.

For nearly every theory proposed, tested, and verified in modern therapy, some theorists looked at basic questions like what unhealthiness is, what healthiness is, and useful thinking and feeling, and what is the vehicle of change to go from unhealthy to healthy.

Many theorists looked long and hard at how pain, wounding, fear, and negative habits of the past shaped people’s decision-making, defense mechanisms, and worldviews. They also proposed what they believed were common traits of healthy thinking, responses, and outlooks, and then went to work to derive hypotheses and develop interventions that could become vehicles of change toward healing in some way.

Some looked at reducing the pain and negative symptoms, while others looked at becoming more flexible and accepting negative feelings, and changing one’s outlook about them.

Types of Trauma Therapy

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

For example, TFCBT (trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy), which is an evidence-backed theory for how to help children and teens experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress, has a particular understanding of trauma and how to heal.

The theory lays out an eight-step protocol that starts with educating caregivers about trauma, teaching relaxation skills for a body wracked by trauma, acknowledging emotions around pain and loss for kids, helping enhance adaptive thinking about events, thoroughly describing events through one’s narrative and then incorporating these skills into day-to-day life with the help and support of a support network.

According to this theory, you must come face to face with the wound and address it in trauma therapy, learning new ways to calm the body, understanding the normal mental reactions to trauma, making sense of it, and beginning to readjust to living in the presence of or in the wake of a painful event.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy

Another evidence-based method is called Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which is effective for individuals experiencing big overwhelming feelings in relationships, outbursts, and/or addictions, and also looks to address suffering and the conditions that drive us to act in unwanted ways.

“Radical Acceptance,” a sub theory in this method, suggests that until we wholly accept that a trauma or a wrongdoing occurred in all its detail, we will get stuck in suffering, thinking about why or why not, and why me. While not accepting what happened is understandable initially, over time, it becomes problematic.

The answer this theory offers, is to hold our emotions hand-in-hand with logic and cold hard realities, and find a middle ground of wise behavior called “wise mind” thinking, which listens to the feelings, needs, and urges of the emotional side and balances them with acceptance of fact, to synthesizes them into a new, more adaptive way of thinking. In this theory, neither trying to medicate away feelings nor accepting reality without feeling would benefit healing.

Acceptance And Commitment Therapy

Yet another evidence-based theory called Acceptance and Commitment therapy was based on its founder, Steven Hayes’ experience of having his panic attacks get worse the more he tried to avoid the panic he felt in those moments.

He came to realize that befriending the fearful thoughts, recognizing they were a part of him but not him in totality, and reminding himself of his values and desired path of life that he was committed to, even amid that pain, helped him come out the other side. Flexibility came when there was more than just one way to handle pain, so that he could accept it, and move on, learning along the way and staying true to his beliefs.

12-Step Groups

Lastly thinking of all 12-step groups which have been proven effective over many decades, acknowledging pain and the past, not shutting the door on it, and committing to a plan of action with steps that improve your relationship to yourself, to God and other people, has assisted millions of addicts twisted by avoidance of pain become people reforming into witnesses to their pain but in recovery toward wholeness as recovering addicts.

The Common Factor

What do all these approaches have in common? They don’t advocate avoiding pain in the healing process; they offer strategies to heal through the moments and seasons with pain in it, with acceptance, a different vision, and tools to emerge resilient and more of yourself than you would be if merely avoiding pain.

And still, I want to escape. I still want to escape pain, sadness, and wounding. I want to throw my hands up and ask, “Why?” And that’s okay – it’s human. But the question is whether I can refocus after I acknowledge the real pain I feel so that I can recover.

Bringing back the theological aspect, what might be God’s desire for my handling of this situation? Do we believe that God works all things into our lives for a reason to yield a certain result, if not desiring pain, at least allowing it?

Tim Keller, a renowned late pastor and writer, shared about a time he talked with a psychiatrist friend of his who was feeling stuck in a rut with his psychiatric training. He said one day he looked at his massive textbook and asked, “What if I read this textbook for Christ?”

Suddenly, the friend said, he was thirsty to learn, compare, make connections and insights for treatment out of a sense that he was learning for Christ, thus the fulness of his work was coming out of his response to the question “What if there is more to this textbook than a textbook?”

What if there is more to pain than pain? Keller also goes on in other sermons to describe how the secularized post-modern Western world has precious few resources for explaining, dealing with, and enduring distress. Since, in most of Western culture, pain is meaningless, it should be avoided as an ultimate evil, right?

Christ, as detailed in the Gospels, gave another view. That there “will be trouble” in the world, that pain and sin are inevitable, but that we should ask for deliverance from them at the same time.

As the Serenity Prayer (credited to a 1920’s German preacher Reinhold Niebuhr and read at many 12 step groups around the world) says, the prayerful person asks to start “Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.”

Trauma Therapy Reconsidered

Let us synthesize all of this. In the theology of pain and the healing therapies, we see both a universal issue and helpful ways through it. Be it Dialectical “Radical Acceptance,” CBT reorientation and resilience in facing hard things, or the twelve steps of becoming willing to accept a new path rather than the old one of avoidance and addiction, we see a strange, foreign theme emerge.

This theme is in contrast to avoiding pain and distress at all costs, which the world and our instincts ironically tell us is unavoidable. It is a theme of not clearing out from pain, but grasping it, acknowledging hardship and caring for ourselves in the midst of it, and taking the world as it is, not as we would have it, because that avoidance – that wishing for an alternative reality – keeps us in more pain and bitterness.

One last spiritual picture: If you are not familiar with the story of Job, it is a biblical account that starts with Satan coming to God and requesting to make life difficult for one of God’s chosen people, a blameless and upright man named Job. Satan, the accuser, tries to prove to God that Job, faced with stress, insult, fear, and pain, will surely curse God and not act blameless, for Job was only trusting God (said Satan), because of God’s kindness and material blessings.

What we see instead is a man who endured pain, but cried out to God in anger, but the key phrase is that he cried out “to God.” Job was a man who, though he experienced the pain, remembered to fix his eyes on God, and had faith that God can take our experience and raw expressions of pain and can provide healing and strength through it, not around it.

And the three therapies and the 12-step philosophy listed above all touch on different ways of bearing up underneath the burden of pain in this same way, attending to it rather than avoiding it.

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Easy Ways to Help Anxiety While Working at Home (and Being More Productive)

“You sit at home and work?” He asked her as he fought the urge to raise a disapproving eyebrow. “Do you get any work done?”

She hated this question. It came up at least half the time she told someone she worked from home, especially if she told someone from an older generation. The stigma surrounding remote work often casts doubt on whether it’s as respectable or productive as being in an office. But anyone who has worked remotely knows that production isn’t dictated by location.

In fact, for many, working remotely boosts productivity. According to a study by Stanford Graduate School of Business, remote work increased productivity by 13% in 16,000 workers studied over nine months. But this potential uptick in productivity may come at the cost of an uptick in your anxiety.

Ways to Help Anxiety While Working from Home

To address this, we’ve put together some easy ways to help anxiety while working at home.

Be prepared While it might be tempting to work in your robe, the mindset shift is worth the extra effort to get dressed. It’s been proven over and over, getting dressed is like making the bed – it catapults you into productivity mode and lowers your mental load. You’ll also be ready for anything that comes your way, including stepping out to your local eatery over lunch or hopping on a quick video call with your boss.

Reduce distractions One of the downsides of working from home is the possibility of distractions. One of the ways to help anxiety is to create a distraction-free, dedicated work environment by removing visual distractions from your line of sight and making your space clutter-free.

If the mind gets distracted easily, set out a notepad to jot things down for work breaks and feel free to plan to get up and grab a coffee or a snack after you’ve completed one more thing off your work list, giving yourself the motivation to focus and finish it.

Create comforts Just as you would do your best to create a healthy working environment at your office, work toward creating a comfortable home workspace. This doesn’t mean lying in bed while you work, as that may hamper productivity. But it is wise to invest in a comfortable chair for your at-home office.

Listen to music if appropriate and even consider an under-desk foot massager. As long as these comforts of home do not hamper your productivity, take advantage of the solitude.

Set a schedule It’s important to be available when your work needs to be done. For this reason, it is important to set a schedule and communicate that schedule with your family or housemates. Being clear about when you are and, more importantly, are not available will help reduce tension in your relationships and help to keep others from distracting and interrupting you while you are working.

Plan for communication fails Nothing can be more frustrating than trying to get a hold of a boss or a coworker with no success. Be prompt in responding to emails, texts, and phone messages to set a standard of practice with your bosses and coworkers.

In addition to walking in your standard, it is okay to make a plan with your bosses and/or coworkers to address communication failures. This may include a plan for if you need to contact them about something you deem urgent, with multiple ways of contacting each individual, or it may simply be a conversation about categorizing priorities and understanding their needs and requirements of you.

Establish boundaries Another one of the important ways to help anxiety is to set boundaries with your family, friends, and co-workers. Be sure to communicate clearly what your needs and expectations are regarding your work and leisure hours. Having clear boundaries will help your loved ones hold appropriate expectations for your schedule and will help keep you from feeling guilty about keeping “off the clock” hours.

Seek help You may find it difficult to balance your home and work life. That’s understandable, especially if you have young children. If this is the case, you may find it helpful to hire a babysitter or nanny to come to your home during your work hours.

This helper can keep your children safe and engaged while you concentrate on your work commitments. Schedule time to touch base with your children throughout the day, such as eating lunch together. Even if you don’t have children, you may find it beneficial to hire a cleaning service or order take-out once in a while, just to give yourself a much-needed break.

Establish a routine (and include breaks) Just because you’re working at home doesn’t mean you don’t need a break. Schedule your allotted breaks throughout your day, just as you would if you were in a traditional office. Consider a standing desk or a walking pad. Have a healthy lunch, go for a quick walk, and stretch to help keep you physically fit and mentally calm.

Plan for pets While pets are wonderful stress relievers, they can also be a detriment to the remote worker. Plan your pet care time around your work time so your furry (or feathered) friend is content during your workday. Use your work breaks to take the dog for a walk or cuddle with your cat. If your best, four-legged friend interferes with your work time, consider hiring a pet sitter for work hours or a trainer to help address the interference.

Work outdoors If practical, consider grabbing your laptop and a cup of your favorite coffee and working from the comfort of your patio. The fresh air, nature’s sounds, and the warmth of the sun can do wonders to help calm you when stressed.

Leverage the power of technology Always be willing to try the technology that your company may offer to you. It may feel intimidating to learn a new app or approach, but chances are that many of your daily tasks can be streamlined through technology.

Even if your company doesn’t offer any tech support, consider introducing project management, communication, and collaboration tools to your superiors. You never know, maybe they will embrace that technology and thank you for your contribution.

Tackle difficult tasks first If you are allowed to prioritize your workload, consider taking on the most difficult tasks as the first part of your workday. It’s easier to do these more challenging tasks when you’re less stressed and rested. Save the easier tasks for later in your shift to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Be deliberate in your communication One of the unfortunate elements of working remotely (and frankly, even in an office setting) is the lack of face-to-face interactions. We all know that miscommunication can happen when someone misinterprets the tone of a text or an email.

Be sure to not only proofread your communications for typos and accuracy, but also consider the tone and emotions that may be attached. Take your time in responding and re-read any reply after you’ve had a break before you press send. Misunderstandings within the workplace can be stressful and damaging, so do your best to communicate with clarity and deliberate words rather than sarcasm or words that could be taken the wrong way.

Educate yourself about time zones While this may seem like one of the more obvious ways to help anxiety, it’s surprising how many people forget about the importance of time zones when they’re working from home. If you’re working remotely, you may have to check in with a supervisor at a specific time or video conference with a client. It’s important to have a good working knowledge of the time zones so you’re not late (or three hours early) to your appointment.

Stay social As mentioned before, a big drawback of working at home can be the lack of face-to-face human interaction. Don’t become an isolated island just because you don’t go to a physical office. Stay connected with work buddies and friends through planned lunches or video conferences instead of only impersonal texts or emails. In your free time, plan to spend quality time with the people who matter the most, your friends and family.

The Bottom Line

With some planning and a few creative solutions, you can be just as or even more productive with less stress working from home than in a more traditional office space. If you need help sorting through the emotions of your dual role beyond these suggested ways to help anxiety, consider talking with a therapist who specializes in mitigating workplace stress.

“Yes,” she smiled. “I work remotely. And while I don’t go into a traditional office, I am still working a full-time job, being productive, and an asset to my company.”

Resources:
https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/faculty-research/working-papers/does-working-home-work-evidence-chinese-experiment
Photos:
“Three Women and A Phone”, Courtesy of Surprising_Media, Pixabay.com, CC0 License; “Woman and Dog”, Courtesy of RebeccasPictures, Pixabay.com, CC0 License; “Coffee and Cookies”, Courtesy of Pexels, Pixabay.com, CC0 License

3 Emotional Regulation Skills to Use When Negative Emotions Strike

Children learn emotional regulation skills when they are young. Teachers and parents alert children when a negative emotion, such as anger or sadness, is out of control. If the child has difficulty regulating that emotion, the parent or teacher will institute a consequence to help the child calm down and discover healthy ways to react.

However, when people become adults, they have different accountability. What teachers and parents hope they teach well may become uncontrollable later in life. Little annoyances for an adult can explode into significant issues if left unchecked.

People must still use emotional regulation skills to respond to a situation appropriately, but only some have these skills. This can lead to inappropriate behavior, wreaking havoc on relationships.

3 Ways to Regulate Your Emotions

Here are three ways to regulate your emotions when damaging emotions strike:

Count quietly to gain emotional regulation

A teacher or parent may ask a child who is out of control with her emotions to count to ten. This is a strategy an anger management specialist might use with an adult who’s having difficulty regulating his anger.

It might seem strange for someone to begin counting to ten out loud during a fight with the spouse or for an angry person to use it during traffic. Counting silently to yourself when you feel your emotions bubbling over can be a great way to focus your attention, calm your mind, and control your emotions.

Counting can also help clear the mind of negative thoughts that may come out in language or other inappropriate ways. In some cases, more than counting to ten is required. The situation may cause them to have harmful anger or fear, which may cause them to count to a number much higher than ten.

Pick whatever number is appropriate until you can feel your emotions settle. The point is not to reach the goal of a certain number but rather to have a coping mechanism that you can use to regulate your emotions when you’re feeling rage bubbling over.

Pray for emotional regulation

Another excellent way to deal with negative emotions like fear or anger is to pray and ask God to help you control your emotions and respond with the fruits of the Spirit. Having the best, most appropriate response when conflict arises is always challenging. We know God always has a proper response.

Kindness or patience may be great alternatives to fear or anger in difficult situations. Sometimes, the Holy Spirit helps guide and direct us when we feel emotional and want to make an impulsive decision.

Calling on the Holy Spirit when a situation calls for it is good. However, praying about the problem or conflict with toxic people or situations is best before the crisis occurs. This will help curb the need to stop making impulsive decisions or decisions that would wreck a relationship.

Leave the situation

No matter how good our emotional regulation skills are, the other person with which we are embroiled in conflict may not share those same regulation skills. This lack of skills is especially true regarding a spouse or someone who knows us intimately. A person like this who wants to win an argument knows how to push your buttons to the point where you explode angrily.

Sometimes, an argument can drag on for so long that you get emotionally and physically exhausted, which inevitably causes an emotional explosion and a lack of regulation skills. If you’re not getting anywhere with someone and they’re not leaving you alone, it is best to leave the immediate situation. This is good for any situation that can become unexpectedly toxic.

If you can leave a situation when you feel you may say or do something you may regret later, this shows emotional maturity on your part. It is best to walk away despite what the other person may say, or you may have unresolved feelings from not resolving that situation. Walking away will save you unnecessary pain and additional feelings of anger, sadness, or grief if you say or do something that you later regret.

Although emotional regulation skills are taught at an early age, we need to continue utilizing those skills even into adulthood. Because so many people are angry today, it’s easy to allow negative emotions to explode and project them onto unnecessary victims.

With emotional regulation skills like the ones suggested above, you can come away from a situation feeling more at peace and have an opportunity to mend a relationship that, without emotional regulation skills, can be severed forever.

Christian Counseling for Emotional Regulation

If you need more help than you receive from the ideas in this article, seeking counseling may be the best step. The faith-based counselors at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling in California can offer individual, couples, or family counseling for emotional regulation and the damaged relationships that a lack of regulation can cause. Contact our office today to learn more.

Photo:
“Edge of the Pond”, Courtesy of Unsplash+ Community, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License

Steps to Prevent Others From Overstepping Boundaries

Setting boundaries is how people guard their lives against unacceptable behaviors. If there are no boundaries in place, then others will not know how to respect your personal space. They will set the stage for the treatment that people are subjected to.

Clear boundaries can establish how a person takes care of themselves emotionally and spiritually. They cultivate the realization that it’s not about how people view others, but rather how satisfied a person is with their life. Huntington Beach Christian Counseling provides guidance on setting healthy boundaries, empowering individuals to build stronger relationships and live with greater peace and purpose.

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. – Proverbs 4:23, ESV

Boundaries do not have to be spoken for a person to have them. Every person has a level of discomfort and that is the reason for them. It is best to communicate them to reduce any problems with others overstepping them.

Types of Boundaries

Personal boundaries differ from professional. These typically reflect how a person interacts with others. Physical contact, personal space, and verbal interaction all are areas that may require them.

There are categories for the common types.

Physical boundaries help with protecting personal space. People who are not “touchy-feely” often refrain from hugging and may have them in place to keep others from getting too close physically.

Emotional boundaries protect emotional well-being.

Workplace boundaries help protect the ability to work without interference. Workplace boundaries are typically set as a reflection of how a person conducts themselves professionally. It is common for these to be established after there has been an issue.

Material boundaries help with protecting personal belongings. Allowing others to use personal items can be done with written instructions. The instructions make it clear what is expected when something is borrowed.

Time boundaries help with protecting the use of time. This kind can be challenging, due to the categories of time management that people fall into, such as being late or being early. It is not uncommon for these two categories to clash. Setting a boundary can help present a solution to the conflicts that arise because of the different views of time.

Sexual boundaries help protect our sexual needs and safety. These are often noted in new relationships. By communicating what is comfortable in this area a person can prevent any type of miscommunication about desires.

Boundaries can be set in a manner that allows them to be in place no matter where a person may be at any time. They are set for a variety of situations where engagement with others is likely to happen.

Setting Boundaries That Work

Boundaries serve to keep people mentally and emotionally healthy. Some can be confusing and misunderstood. It is important to remember that sometimes they need to be communicated clearly to reduce the chance of someone unintentionally crossing them Being intentional about setting them will reduce any chance of someone overstepping them.

There are a few simple steps to setting healthy boundaries that will keep personal space protected.

Identify personal limits

Sometimes a boundary isn’t known until there is an issue in that area. Identifying personal limits of what is acceptable helps create a healthy boundary.

Communicate the boundary

After deciding to set a specific boundary, it must be communicated.

Know what needs to be said

Communicating boundaries to other people means that a person must understand what they want to convey to others. Learning what to say and how to say it can reduce miscommunication or misunderstanding.

There is no need for apologies or explanations

People commonly feel the need to explain why they have boundaries or apologize for setting them. It is perfectly acceptable to say “no” in a kind way without any type of explanation.

Be consistent

Setting a boundary is useless if there is no consistency. To prevent others from overstepping them it is vital to stand firm with the decision to set it. This reduces the chance that others will disrespect it.

Next Steps

There are times when people need boundaries. Knowing why they need to be set and how to set them can help create healthy relationships with people in your life. The first step is to identify what you consider to be healthy ones for you. Once that has been decided you can start the process of clarifying and communicating them.

To better understand why you need them and how to set them, the counselors at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling can help. With the right faith-based plan, your counselor in Huntington Beach can help you create healthy ones that will work for you and those around you. Call our office today at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling in California for more information or to make an appointment.

References:

https://psychcentral.com/relationships/what-are-personal-boundaries-how-do-i-get-some#takeaway

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-to-help-a-friend/201711/why-is-it-important-to-have-personal-boundaries

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-addiction-connection/202210/5-steps-to-creating-and-maintaining-healthy-boundaries

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“Crashing Waves”, Courtesy of Frank van Hulst, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License

Exhaustion and Grief: Finding Support in Huntington Beach

Grief can be a confusing and isolating experience. Your emotions and experiences in grief might feel so alien and unusual that you might wonder if there is something wrong with you. Many people feel this way, and many need to have extra grace for themselves. Not only is grief confusing, but it is exhausting in many different ways. In this article, we’ll look at the interplay between exhaustion and grief.

Exhaustion and Grief: How They’re Related

Drained From the Inside

Exhaustion is a natural aspect of grief because it engages all the facets of who you are. Not only will you experience intense, conflicting emotions, but you will have to figure out many different practicalities that feel at odds with your emotional rollercoaster. Having to arrange finances or travel details while also processing your emotions is exhausting. Huntington Beach Christian Counseling offers compassionate support to help you navigate grief while managing both the emotional and practical challenges that come with it.

Many people need to hear that it’s okay to feel a certain way or to struggle with certain things while grieving. Exhaustion is just one aspect of grief, but it affects people in many different ways for different reasons. As you navigate grief, consider the ways that you might be feeling exhausted, and have some grace and patience for yourself.

Emotional Exhaustion

Some people do not consider themselves to be emotional people, but even they will be confronted with a wave of emotions in grief. Not only are these emotions powerful, but they are persistent. Grief doesn’t pass after a funeral or after a good therapy session. You might have to process a cocktail of conflicting emotions for months and even years while grieving.

One of the most difficult aspects of grief is that it offers no closure. People crave completion, wholeness, and neatness, but in grief, emotions are messy and unpredictable, and closure can be hard to find. You might have emotions that don’t blend well together, like anger and sadness or resentment and gratitude. The sheer weight of all these emotions and their unusual behaviors is exhausting, even for those who usually consider themselves level-headed.

Mental and Logistical Exhaustion

Life doesn’t spare you the space or time to grieve as needed. Many people feel numbed in grief but have to plan, organize, and think their way through things. Funerals need planning, guests need hosting, belongings and properties need to be dealt with, and in the midst of it all, you have to figure out what you are feeling and what to do with those feelings.

All the logistics and planning can be a helpful distraction, and the matter-of-fact aspect of organizing things helps you to accept reality and grieve as you should. However, it is also draining. If you don’t have friends and family members to help with these things, you will benefit from taking an hour each day to sit, breathe, and feel.

Spiritual Exhaustion

There is perhaps no other time in life where you will examine and question your beliefs quite like when you are grieving. People often feel like their foundations have been shaken or even crumbled in the aftermath of loss and tragedy, and it often feels like there is no definitive answer to your deepest questions.

If you do end up confiding in someone trustworthy about your doubts, anger, or fears, you might find their easy answer frustrating and unhelpful. No one mentions how spiritually exhausting grief can be, especially when it causes you to question your worldview.

In biblical times, people would often grieve together for weeks on end, and the cultural expression of prolonged grief was silence. Friends would meet with mourners, stay in their homes, and simply sit with them until they were ready to talk. This comforting silence is what most people need when grieving because sometimes all you need is the quiet comfort of a friend holding space with you.

Physical Exhaustion

If simple, everyday tasks are becoming more difficult to complete and you are always tired no matter how much sleep you are getting, it could be a sign that grief is taking a physical toll on you. We often think of grief as being a mental and emotional experience, but we also experience grief within our bodies. Grief is a physical experience as much as it is mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Grief Counseling in Huntington Beach

Grieving can also be a lonely experience. Sometimes, you just want to be with someone who “gets it.” It might help you to meet with a Christian counselor in Huntington Beach, California. Your counselor will give you space to be yourself and to leave your burdens at the door, even if only for an hour or so. Contact us at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling if counseling is something you would like to learn more about.

Photo:
“Frosted Stinging Nettles”, Courtesy of Stephan H., Unsplash.com, CC0 License

Anxiety Relief Through Dance

The benefits of dance are widely known. Not only is dance a social activity, but it also provides an outlet for exercise and creativity. But have you ever considered using dance to manage your anxiety?

Anxiety can thrive in sedentary places. While relaxing and sitting in a quiet space is necessary and good for short periods of time, those prone to anxiety (especially those who also have ADHD) may find their minds becoming bored and looking for stimulation. Huntington Beach Christian Counseling offers guidance and strategies to help individuals manage anxiety through healthy movement and mindfulness practices.

Unfortunately, the brain often finds its “rush” in dwelling in dramatic, catastrophic “what ifs” which can cause anxiety. In these cases, it’s best to get up and move your body and dance is a great way to do this.

Spiritual Benefits:

The Bible tells us that David danced before the Lord with all his might and so can you. Use your whole body to express your love for the Lord and your gratitude to Him. This mindset of gratitude will help you develop a closer walk with the Lord and just might bring you relief from your anxiety.

Social Aspects:

Of course, you can dance by yourself, but dancing with others can be a whole lot more fun. Whether you’re dancing with your spouse in your living room, with friends at a party, or with a crowd at a club, the social connection can be nurturing to your soul and stimulating to your mind.

Social dancing also provides an opportunity for physical touch and tactile experience (holding hands, touching the fabric of your partner’s clothes), which can be soothing to your anxious mind.

Exercise:

A healthy body will function more efficiently than one in poor health. Dancing provides a good cardio workout and may help your body increase flexibility and stamina. Overall good health can help reduce episodes of anxiety and dance can reduce cortisol, the natural stress hormone.

Creativity:

All dance can be considered an art form but if you really want to unleash your creativity, and the benefits of creative processes on anxiety reduction, try making up your own moves. Creativity provides a kick of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that is linked to reward and pleasure and creative dance is a great way to stimulate it.

Concentration:

Concentrating on something new can help distract your brain from the thought cycle that is causing your anxiety. Learning a new dance involves concentration and can be a helpful coping strategy against anxiety.

Multi-Sensory Experience:

Studies have shown that giving multiple senses something to fixate on can help distract your brain away from your anxiety. Dance engages your sense of hearing as you listen to the music and dance instructor, your sense of sight as you take in the environment and watch others dance and your sense of touch as you interact with your partner.

Talking with a Therapist About Dance for Anxiety Relief

Exercise and creativity that come from engaging in dance are beneficial for your physical and mental health, but it can’t replace talking with a licensed therapist. If you’re struggling with anxiety and looking for anxiety relief, seek advice from a Christian counselor in Huntington Beach, California.

God created you as a multi-faceted and complex human which means that one method of anxiety management may not be enough to bring you peace. Unpacking your thoughts and emotions with a professional mental health specialist in Huntington Beach who shares your faith can lead you to a multi-method approach to help bring you to a place of mental and spiritual well-being. Contact us today at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling in California.

Photo:
“Stretching”, Courtesy of Ben Iwara, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License

6 Common Symptoms of Depression in Men You Should Know

The symptoms of depression in men take many forms, which may not be the same as the symptoms in women. You may not be aware that you are depressed but feel that something is “off.” As many as six million suffer in the US with depression each year. Often, their symptoms go unnoticed, or they refuse treatment.

Do not be one of the millions. Do not be a statistic. Seek help for your symptoms of depression as soon as possible.

Symptoms of Depression in Men to Know

Wondering what might be wrong? Feeling out of sorts lately? Perhaps you have something on your mind worrying you, but you do not feel like it’s depression because it’s not accompanied by the persistent sadness you have read about in articles like this one.

Not all symptoms of depression in men affect everyone the same. Some of these symptoms can seem unrelated, but a counselor can help determine if what you are experiencing is true depression. Huntington Beach Christian Counseling provides professional support to help men identify and manage depression in a compassionate, faith-based setting.

The following is a list of common symptoms of depression in men.

Irritability, Anger, or Mood Swings

Men who are depressed may not realize that is the problem, and often, depression itself is a symptom of a much larger issue or unresolved conflict. This can present itself as anger, irritability, or mood swings. Do you find yourself irritable over minor offenses? Are your loved one’s pet peeves bothering you more than usual?

Headaches

Headaches, stomachaches, and unexplained body aches could be a symptom of depression in men. Anxiety and worry cause tension, which can lead to headaches and digestive issues. Heartburn and acid reflux could result from excess stress. Talk with your physician about the best treatment plan for headaches, body aches, and stomach pain in combination with your depression treatment plan.

Appetite Changes

If you reach for food when you are not hungry or forget to eat meals, you may be struggling with another depression symptom. Depression can impact ghrelin and leptin, the hunger hormones. Suddenly, you may think you are hungry when you have just eaten or you may go for several hours without food because you do not feel hungry.

Weight Changes

Due to the changes in hunger hormones and behavior regarding food, your weight may rapidly increase or decrease. You may see a drastic change in the scale or the fit of your clothes. Rapid weight changes could also be the symptom of a physical issue, so check with your physician to rule out any medical conditions.

Escapist Behaviors

Men are more likely to turn to escapist behaviors while depressed compared to women. Escapist behaviors can include playing video games for much longer than is normal, abusing substances, or watching pornography. These behaviors are a way to escape from the current reality.

Suicidal Thoughts

Depression can affect sleep and the ability to concentrate on tasks. These symptoms compounded can lead to suicidal thoughts. If you are thinking about harming yourself, reach out immediately for help.

Getting Help for Depression in Huntington Beach

Do you recognize any of the above symptoms of depression in men? Do you or someone you love struggle with depression? Contact us today at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling to schedule an appointment with a Christian counselor in Huntington Beach, California.

You do not have to suffer. We can help by connecting you with a counselor in Huntington Beach who specializes in depression symptoms. Get started today by calling the number on this site or filling out an online contact form.

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“Alpine Lake”, Courtesy of Jonny Gios, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License