Signs of Depression in Children: Finding Help from a Christian Counselor in Huntington Beach
Just like adults, children experience emotional ups and downs and are affected by daily stresses. Some children are naturally more sensitive or emotional than others and may freely express their emotions. Others might suppress their feelings for various reasons, though the parents might still notice a change in behavior.
It is not uncommon for children to become depressed. There has been a slight increase in child depression in the last decade. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention cites that 3.2% of children aged 3-17 have current cases of depression.
It can be alarming to parents and caregivers to know that their child is depressed, and many may not know how to help their child. Others might not even be aware that their child is depressed, thinking that children cannot experience depression. If a child’s mood is rapidly changing, if they have become quiet or withdrawn, or if their performance at school is declining, these may be signs that a child is depressed.
Why Children Get Depressed
Depression in children is influenced by many things, from life events to their environment at school and in their family. In some cases, it is a biochemical illness or genetic predisposition. In every case of child depression, it is a good idea to consult a counselor, therapist, or medical professional to determine the cause and treatment.
A child’s school environment is frequently the source of depression. From the ages 5-6, children spend the majority of their time at school with teachers and peers. Here they may be exposed to experiences like bullying and social rejection which can easily result in the child becoming depressed.
Many children as young as five experience fear and anxiety as far as school is concerned. Whether it is separation anxiety, social anxiety, or a specific phobia, anxiety, and depression are often linked.
Similarly, childhood depression is commonly influenced by things that happen at home. During their developmental years, a child is sensitive to many events that might seem insignificant to adults. For example, moving house is a common life event for an adult, but it can be deeply impacting for a child. Leaving friends behind and having to begin school with new peers and teachers is enough to cause depression in children.
There are more obvious natural causes of depression in children, such as abuse, neglect, and divorce. Children are often deeply perceptive, and even if they cannot articulate it, they can sense when their parents or caregivers are struggling. Children of depressed parents will often experience depression themselves. Children need caregivers to be emotional anchors, providing stability and assurance. There are times when it can be challenging to provide this.
Biochemical Disorders
A child experiencing depression may have a mood disorder. This means that the depression the child is experiencing is not necessarily linked to any events in their external environment. Instead, it is being generated inside of them, by their brain or nervous system. This type of depression can only be diagnosed by a medical professional after careful evaluation.
There most common depressive disorders to affect children are major depressive disorder (MDD), persistent depressive disorder (PDD), seasonal affective disorder (SAD), bipolar disorder, disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD), and adjustment disorder with depressed mood.
Severe depression that lasts more than two weeks might be major depressive disorder. Persistent depressive disorder, also called dysthymia, is a milder form of depression, but one in which the symptoms last for a year or more. Seasonal affective disorder occurs mostly in the northern hemisphere where the daylight hours are shorter in the colder seasons. Depression is a result of a lack of chemicals obtained from sunlight, such as vitamin D.
Bipolar occurs in children, however, it is not common. The indicator of bipolar is extreme mood swings, always followed by bouts of low energy and depression. Mood swings and surges of energy and exhaustion are common for all children, but what sets bipolar behavior apart is that the mood swings are intense and last for weeks with debilitating effects.
Healthy children may occasionally experience bursts of extreme emotion, from euphoric joy to fits of anger and tantrums. But when the anger is severe, with frequent outbursts, aggression, irritability, and no joyful or positive emotions, it might be disruptive mood dysregulation disorder. Only children over the age of six experience DDMD and it is extreme but treatable.
Lastly, adjustment disorder with depressive mood is not biochemical but is commonly treated with medication. A child with this disorder might be depressed for three months or more, and it is often in response to a major event, like a death in the family or parental separation. There is a period of adjustment to each of these events, but if a child’s daily functions are impaired by grief, this may indicate the presence of this type of depression.
Symptoms of Depression in Children
Depression affects children across a broad age spectrum, and each stage of development brings with it characteristic behavior. For example, it is common for young children to have tantrums, to sometimes be shy and withdrawn, and to have occasional angry outbursts. But these can also be symptoms of depression in children. The difference between natural developmental behavior and depression is the intensity of the behavior, and the effects it has.
If there is a sudden and noticeable change in behavior, such as an outgoing and confident child becoming shy and silent, this is cause for concern. If they stop doing things that previously brought them joy, become overly sensitive to criticism, have lower energy, and increased irritability, this might be further evidence of depression.
Children below the age of nine do not naturally possess filters to mask behavior. They also do not have the eloquence to describe their emotions. This means that younger children cannot easily tell you what they are feeling, but they will show how they feel without being prompted. Frequent tantrums, angry gestures, or low energy and impeded abilities to do simple tasks (like brushing teeth or tying shoelaces) are things to watch out for.
Older children and pre-teens tend to become withdrawn and silent when battling depression. Depression often presents alongside trauma, such as a fear of abandonment. The child might be reluctant to talk about how they feel because they perceive that it is wrong for them to feel this way, though they wouldn’t be able to explain why. This leads them to become insular as a form of soothing and self-protection. This is often observed where there has been bullying or abuse.
Besides this, common symptoms of depression in children and pre-teens are changes in sleep patterns, loss of appetite, failure to concentrate, frequent tearfulness, absences from school or a decline in grades, and attempts to run away from home.
Because they often cannot articulate their experiences, parents and caregivers need to take note of their behavior and, if possible, talk to the child about it. The parent might also share their concerns with a healthcare professional.
Teen depression is often linked to an increased interest in topics surrounding death, suicide, or self-harm. Risky behavior, sexual promiscuity, and substance use or abuse are also common. Low self-esteem, self-loathing, and aggression can also be indicators of depression. Teens may want to feel something besides the weight of depression or to shut down their feelings altogether.
Should you notice any prolonged behavior, things that are out of character, or behavior patterns that prove detrimental to your child’s health, you should reach out to a professional immediately. Whether you begin with medical advice, or counseling and therapy, there are options for treatment. No family has to be crippled by the effects of depression, regardless of its type or the cause of it.
Next Steps
Every case and type of depression is treatable. It may take some time to determine the type and cause of the depression, and then determine the most effective treatment plan. A good treatment plan might combine both medication and counseling. As far as medication is concerned, a qualified health professional should diagnose and prescribe the treatment. It should be monitored over some time, and amended if necessary.
The counseling might be pediatric counseling, where a professional meets with the child in private, and conducts a child-focused method of counseling. Or it might involve a combination of one-on-one meetings with the child and sessions with the parent or primary caregiver.
Many parents and caregivers themselves are battling depression and ailing mental health. It is common to feel guilty, helpless, and even angry at yourself as a parent because of your child’s depression. We encourage parents to seek counseling for themselves, as a way of helping themselves and their family.
We can connect you to some highly qualified professional counselors who will work with you to provide the support, and treatment you need. The first step is to call our offices to book an appointment with a counselor, after which you will be on your way to mental wellness.
“Blue Paint”, Courtesy of Phil Hearing, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
Have you considered that at the root of all that commotion and annoyance, the baby is just yearning for emotional reassurance? There’s a calm, bright future with a contented baby for your family. One helpful step in learning to calm your baby involves discovering how play therapy can lead to a happier, fuss-free infant.
Older children hurt too, although they may be better at keeping it hidden. Your younger child may cry at night, but an older child may act out in other ways. They may have mood swings, lash out at younger siblings, develop behavioral issues in school, or suffer academically. Take the time to listen to your older child. Ask them questions about their thoughts and feelings, and acknowledge their insecurities.
Insecure attachment develops when a child doesn’t consistently feel supported, understood, or emotionally safe with the people they rely on most. This doesn’t mean the parent is neglectful or unloving. It can stem from stress at home, busy routines, or even well-intentioned but inconsistent responses from adults.
You might notice that one child seems to need extra attention, more reassurance, or more help than their siblings. This can be exhausting for parents, especially when it feels like one child is always taking up space. This usually isn’t about being spoiled but more about emotional safety. That child may be unsure whether they’re truly loved, so they cling a little tighter or demand more control.
They also tend to be preoccupied with how others see them, even if parents or other adults say complimentary things about them. They are so sensitive to feeling scrutinized or assessed that they even feel uncomfortable receiving praise, as they perceive the pressure of being evaluated.
Playful role-playing Use role-playing to act out scenarios where kids feel scared or worried. Include some verses about worry, showing how they apply them in real-life situations.
Teach children to actively listen to each other
Even children who are usually well behaved may encounter a situation where they are so overcome by emotion that they “lose it” and engage in inappropriate behaviors. This is especially true of very young children whose emotions are still in the early stages of development.
We all know it’s wrong to tell a lie, but we all do it from time to time. No matter what age, lying is a significant problem when it becomes habitual – so ingrained that the person’s word cannot be trusted. Some children become repetitive liars, which can make it difficult for parents to know when to believe the child. This could even put the child in harm’s way.
If your child is usually cheerful and compliant, then abruptly begins to question your directives, or refuse to obey, this defiant attitude may be a way of asserting himself or testing boundaries. Your child may be disrespectful to you or other authority figures. Many times this behavior is picked up from peers or even TV shows.
Children begin to experiment with cigarette smoking, drinking alcohol, or smoking marijuana around the age of thirteen. But children much younger than this engage in substance use, especially if it is readily available at home or from a friend or relative. Obviously, this behavior demands immediate attention before addictions develop or other serious issues ensue.
It can be exhausting to deal with behavior problems in children. Parents often feel angry and confused about their child’s behavior. It can be terrifying when you don’t understand what’s happening with your child, don’t know how to help, but feel totally responsible for making things better for them.
For parents struggling to deal with their child’s difficulties, the principle question that needs to be considered is What is my child’s need that’s being unmet? When we talk about unmet needs, however, it’s important to remember that these are deep, emotional needs, not issues regarding toys or other material things.
It’s clear when looking at this Functional Behavioral Analysis chart that it’s possible to come to entirely different conclusions about the behavior when you consider the function of the behavior. It’s not always as clear cut as parents assume it to be, meaning that problem behaviors are not always problems but rather dysfunctional coping mechanisms.
In children whose problem behavior relates to bodily functions, it is sometimes the case that the child feels they have so little control in their life that they develop problem behaviors with their bodily functions because that’s one thing they do have control over.
As stewards of the child, parents or other guardians are naturally concerned. But though they may desire to get to the root of the problem so that a solution can be found, the child might not be able to properly express their feelings or might not wish to do so. Rather than becoming frustrated and angry at the child for not saying what they feel, parents or guardians should try other ways to get the child to open up and share what is bothering them, such as the following suggested therapeutic activities for children.
Another effective method for young children is role-playing. Sometimes the child knows how they feel, but they are afraid to say it. Role-playing allows them to act out their inner emotions and thoughts from the “safety” of pretending to be someone else.
The challenge here is for parents or guardians to get the child to try, since they may feel like they are doing additional homework. But if they can be encouraged to give it a try, even if their first attempt only results in a few phrases written down, they might eventually see how helpful journaling can be. Privacy is another issue, especially for older children. In such cases, a heart to heart talk about the need for a trusted adult to know what is going on may be needed.
Initially, the child may need some help in how to pray so the parent or guardian can first model a prayer where God’s almighty power is acknowledged; thanksgiving is declared, and then prayer requests are made. After some sessions, the child can then be asked to pray, out loud or silently. The objective here is for the child to become more relaxed as they begin to depend on and trust in God.