The Unseen Cost of Grief and Loss for Children

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While there are many books about helping children through grief, there are unseen costs that can be overlooked as a child gets further from the initial grieving season.

The unseen cost of grief and loss in children can be found by taking a deeper look at how they process identity, family, and friendship – and what it means to process the perceived loss of any one of those.

How a Child’s View of Self Changes Due to Grief

When a child is young, his or her caregivers are tied to their identity. Even a mediocre parent is an integral part of the formation of a child’s sense of self from a young age.

That’s partly why research tells us that narrative therapy can be so powerful for adults who experienced a lack of attachment to their primary caregivers in childhood; the therapy walks them through the process of forming a new sense of identity by examining the attachment that didn’t take place as it should have.

Whether they lost a caregiver due to death or divorce, abandonment, or simply separation that requires a season of living far from that caregiver, a child can be devastated. This doesn’t just impact the child’s relationship with that caregiver.

It impacts their view of themselves because they may struggle to gain the confidence that comes from a stable home life, a steady, consistent primary caregiver, and a deep-seated knowledge that their primary caregiver will be there for them.

When loss interrupts or removes this awareness, a child becomes unsure of who they are. It can cause a boisterous, playful child to become quiet, reserved, and unwilling to try new things. Or it may mean that as the child grows into adolescence, they’re more likely to be a follower rather than a leader who is sure of themselves and can pinpoint what part of following is unhealthy and avoid it.

Grief, then, plays an important role in how a child walks through and recovers from loss of self. We tend to acknowledge the loss of a role in a child’s life, such as the death of a parent, the divorce of two parents, or even something like moving away from a best friend. But amid grief, it’s important to help the child see the connection between that loss and how it impacts how they see themselves.

How to Help a Child or Teen View Themselves in Light of Loss

Because a child can lose a caregiver, friend, or family member in more ways than one, it’s important to talk about the actual loss. Was it the loss of a friendship after a cross-country move or the loss of a beloved aunt due to death? Or did their parents divorce, so the loss is felt in norms that have been removed?

Talking about the loss will help a child acknowledge where the grief comes from. This may be overlooked because, as adults, we assume it’s a normal process. For children, though, and even teens, it can be incredibly healing to talk about and name what they miss.

“I miss the way we used to run to each other’s houses after school.”

“I miss how Aunt Jane always baked cookies when we came over.”

Letting a child or teen talk about what is lost is an important step in not just grieving the actual loss but grieving their self-perception as it relates to the loss.

Helping them understand that it’s okay if they feel shaky in themselves when they’ve lost an important daily figure in their lives, such as a best friend who always rode with them on the bus or a dad who picked them up after dance every Tuesday and Thursday but now is unable due to distance, death or divorce.

Normalizing emotions is another key to helping a child or teen go through grief in a way that helps them recover over time.

When you try to move on too quickly, without acknowledging or revealing your own emotions, it signals to a child that he or she should also get on with the business of moving forward. However, because a child is immature in his brain wiring, this can be misunderstood to mean they should ignore their sense of loss and their emotions, and pack it up like a suitcase when going on a trip.

Unfortunately, their “suitcase” will pop open unexpectedly when this happens – giving them a host of emotions later in life that weren’t expressed when they needed to be and maybe even stunting some of their emotional maturity and growth.

So, letting your child see you cry if you are upset, talking about feelings, and giving extra grace when it comes to expectations of your child are all helpful. Ease up on their chores and homework while they grieve; let them take some time off from a sport or music pursuit if that’s what they need.

But don’t let them just be alone during those absences. Be intentional in spending time with them, remind them that loss is hard, and grief takes time, and be available when they want to share how they’re doing.

Grief Can Impact Children’s Future Relationships or Friendships

Because a child who loses a parent endures such emotional pain, it’s clear why he or she may have a hard time bonding with a future caregiver. When Mom remarries after a divorce or someone new steps into her life after years of being a widow, even adult children can struggle.

They’re allowed to be fearful of how that new relationship will impact their other caregiver. But they also may be afraid of getting too close themselves. After all, they know what it feels like to lose someone they love.

If a child has lost a friend due to a big move, the grief they’re experiencing may contribute to hesitance about making new friends or trying a new activity.

In a scenario where grief has caused some hesitation to form new relationships, there are things you can do to help a child or teen.

First, don’t push your child or teen into forming new relationships. It’s natural to need time to accept the loss of a friend, even if it’s simply a friend who has moved away.

Second, encourage your child to continue routines – after skipping a week of the sport they love or easing up on their homework for a period of time, remind them that picking up these things will restore some normalcy to their lives, especially if they are old enough to understand.

If they are too young to understand, then simply keeping their routines as close to what they were before will help children to have something familiar in the wake of having lost a treasured friend.

Third, find therapists who specialize in talking with children and teens. Psychologists can work with your child or your teen in a way that meets them where they are – not where they or you feel they need to be. This gentle approach gives them hope that where they are today is okay, and yet, there’s hope for healing in the future.

Finally, helping a child take relational risks in the future should be child-led. Perhaps, over time, you notice your child or teen regaining interest in trying out a new activity. If your teen goes to high school and decides being on the newspaper staff might be fun, let him or her adjust to the new activity and find friends over time.

Trusting the process can be the toughest part of watching a child or teen go through grief. It’s so difficult to see someone you love hurting. But when they know it’s okay to feel how they feel, that they are loved, and that they have a supportive group around them, they’ll find their new footing.

A grief group or a grief counselor can also be part of their support team, helping them know they’re not alone and they’re not the only child or teen going through something so difficult. To meet with a counselor or therapist who can help your child navigate their grief, contact our offices today.

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Scriptures to Help You Cope with the Loss of a Parent

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It’s the nature of things that those who come before us and precede us in the things of life typically also precede us in death. While it’s typical, and in many ways is expected, that doesn’t mean the loss of a parent is easy, or that one can simply take it in stride. Losing a parent stirs up different emotions, memories, fears, and expectations. Dealing with these as you grieve can be difficult, which is why Scripture can be a valuable support in that journey of grief.

How grief for a parent can get complicated

When someone close to you dies, a significant change has entered your life. If you were not only related by blood, but your relationship was one of healthy intimacy and deep affection, that means the loss of an important source of support, among other things. Your daily routines may be affected, as will important occasions such as the holidays, birthdays, and other moments that you shared.

There are other ways in which the loss of a parent can affect a person, and much of that is tied to the type of relationship one had with their parent. If the relationship was cold and distant, or if you never saw eye to eye with your parent, or if you never knew your parent because you were separated for one reason or another, the death of your parent can stir a range of emotions such as anger, guilt, resentment, as well as regret.

Also, grief over a parent can be complicated if they were sick for a while before they died. You may have started grieving them before they died, which is called anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief is a way to try and come to terms with an impending loss, and it differs from conventional grief because it looks ahead to a coming loss and its implications, while conventional grief looks back to reflect on a loss that has occurred as one tries to come to terms with it.

Despite these complications that can occur when one loses one’s parent, grief is still a process that a person will go through. The shape of that process will differ for each individual, but grief is necessary to deal with the loss in a healthy way.

Shoving down your emotions or trying to avoid your feelings is not a good move. Grief finds a way to manifest in your life, and it can do so in unpleasant ways if you’re not careful. For instance, one can be irritable and blow up at their loved ones because of unresolved anger from the loss.

It is important to recognize grief and to allow yourself to go through the experience of grief. The five stages of grief, initially developed by Elizabeth Kübler Ross, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You may not experience all the stages or experience them in that order, but knowing what grief looks like can help you process it as such.

Finding support from the Scriptures about loss

Experiences of life and death are deeply human experiences. While each person grieves in their own way, the experiences of others aren’t entirely foreign to us, nor are ours so foreign to them that it’s impossible to communicate them adequately.

If this was the case, grief support groups wouldn’t function. When we turn to the Scriptures, we can expect to find human experiences of grief there, and while they may be different from our own, there are enough similarities there for us to glean meaningful support and encouragement.

Many Scriptures address loss and that can be helpful for you as you mourn the loss of your parent. Some of them are as follows:

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words. – 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, NIV

While a believer may grieve the loss of another believer, that grief is a grief marked by hope. That hope is rooted in who Jesus Christ is, and how He has opened a way into eternal life on a renewed heaven and earth.

If your parent was a believer in Jesus, you can grieve them knowing that you will be reunited with them; death is described here as having “fallen asleep”. The idea is to convey that in light of God’s awesome power, being raised from the dead is like being roused from a night’s sleep.

One can have hope because death doesn’t have power anymore. God through Jesus Christ has rendered death as harmless as sleep, and so we don’t have to fear it or be overwhelmed by it.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit – salm 34:18, NIV

Do you believe that the Lord is on your side? In our loss, it can feel true that God is against you, and that He doesn’t care about you. It is good to be reminded that God sees your hurt as you grieve your loss, and not only does He see you, but He is also close to you. God is invested in walking closely with you. When you feel “crushed in spirit” from losing your parent, you can hold onto the hope that the Lord sees and that He is with you.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. – Psalm 73:25-26, NIV

When we lose what is precious to us, it challenges us to reflect on what our foundations are, and what is holding us together, giving us our sense of purpose and peace. The role that a loving parent plays in your life is that of guiding, shaping, and forming you from when you draw your first breath. Losing a parent, especially an engaged parent whom you love deeply can be the worst grief of your life.

The Psalm reminds us that God is our highest good, and He’s our source. When all else gives way, strength can be found in Him.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:3-4, NIV

It’s possible to get stuck in grief and not see the end of the tunnel as you grope around in the dark. These verses remind us that the story we are in has an end, and even if you can’t see where your current situation is headed, God is in control, and He will not only wipe the tears from your eyes, but He will remove death, and everything connected with it, from His good world.

These assurances can hold you together as grief breaks you apart, and they can be a vital support to challenge unhelpful thoughts that might mire you in one stage of grief or another.

Grieving the loss of a parent with help from a Christian counselor

The loss of a parent can be an incredibly painful experience and one that is difficult to move on from. This is true regardless of the relationship you had with your parent. If you find that you’re feeling stuck in your grief after the loss of a parent, consider talking to a Christian grief counselor who can help you by creating a space for you to process your painful emotions and move forward in a healthy way.

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The Grieving Process: Working Through Loss from a Faith-Based Perspective

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After losing his wife to cancer, C.S. Lewis wrote an extended reflection on grief called A Grief Observed. In it, he wrote, “For in grief nothing ‘stays put.’ One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?” The grieving process is often bewildering and disorienting for those who experience it.

Grief can leave a person feeling like they’ve been turned around while in a fog, and they keep passing the same landmarks again and again. The feelings they first felt ebb and flow; sometimes it feels like progress has been made, only to feel overwhelmed again. All this may be true, but grief is a necessary process you must go through to come to terms with loss. Things can and do change, but you must trust the process.

The Necessity of Grief

The world we live in is marked by loss and suffering. God’s good world has been marred by sin and death, and we feel the sting of death in its many manifestations (Genesis 3; 1 Corinthians 15). Relationships break down, as loved ones are estranged, married couples separate and divorce, and conflict ends years-long investments in one another’s well-being. Dreams get shattered, leaving one feeling forlorn and without hope.

Not only that, but loss also happens when meaningful connections and relationships, whether with people, a place, or a community, come to an end. Moving away from the home and community you’ve known and loved can be a gut-wrenching experience. It seems like loss comes to us in many forms, and our lives are a constant journey that’s punctuated with things and people that we leave behind, or that leave us behind.

Into all of this, grief comes as a necessary process to help us deal with loss. If we experienced every loss as keenly and with as much force years down the road as when the loss first occurred, it would be entirely overwhelming. Grief helps us to gain distance, perspective, and healing from loss. Grief never erases the loss, and you will always feel the absence of a loved one, but it allows you to live and see the light again.

The Grieving Process

Grieving doesn’t erase the pain of loss, but it does help you to cope with it. When you form a connection with someone or something, your heart, your life, and your being are entwined. Losing them is like losing a piece of yourself, as painful as any physical trauma or injury can be. Like a physical injury, it’s a shock to the system, and it takes time to come to terms with the fact that you’ve been marked for life by what has happened to you.

The process of grieving is the slow, circuitous journey of making sense of your loss and learning to live in the new reality you’ve been thrust into. As C.S. Lewis noted, it can feel like you’re emerging from a phase, but it keeps recurring. It can feel like you keep thinking the same thoughts and feeling the same feelings, over and over again. However, though it may seem interminable, you are making progress.

The Swiss American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross pioneered near-death studies, and she was the one who came up with the theory of the five stages of grief as she observed how her terminally ill patients faced the prospect of death. These five stages don’t delineate a straightforward, step-by-step process that every grieving person goes through. It simply plots out the different emotions and experiences people typically have with grief.

The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. At first, one might refuse to accept that the worst has happened or is happening. Instead of accepting it, it is preferable to cling to an alternative reality in which the loss hasn’t happened. When denial is no longer tenable, one can easily feel frustrated with the situation, themselves, God, or the person they’ve lost.

In the third stage, bargaining, one holds onto some hope that the loss can somehow be avoided, that perhaps something can shift and change things. This could mean trying to make a deal with God that if you change, or if He just gives you more time with your loved one, you’ll change or do things differently.

In the fourth stage, depression, one might begin giving in to despair. Despair that things will get better, despair that joy will ever be a lived reality again, and feeling a sense of futility about life. This can yield to the fifth stage, where one embraces their situation and recognizes that they’ll be okay. Life won’t be the same, but it will go on.

These stages aren’t as clear-cut as this, and they don’t flow easily from one to the next. In fact, you might find that in your experience, you went straight into stage two, then into stage four. For many others, they move back and forth between the stages, triggered by various daily experiences, and with varying intensity.

Christian Grief Counseling in Huntington Beach, CA

Grieving isn’t a straightforward process, and you can find yourself stuck and unable to function in daily life. You can find help in the form of grief support groups or by talking with a grief counselor in Huntington Beach, California.

Talking with someone about what you’re going through can help you to process it, understand it, and yourself better, and help you identify where you’re struggling. Your counselor can help you to find healthy ways to cope with loss. To schedule an appointment with a therapist in Huntington Beach, contact us today at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling in California.

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5 Ways to Improve Your Sleep Patterns While Grieving

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It’s not uncommon for people to experience sleep problems while grieving. You might feel physically exhausted but unable to fall asleep because your mind is racing, or maybe because it feels strange to be sleeping alone for the first time in years.

Sleep is a valuable thing for those grieving because there is often so much change to adapt to and emotions to process in grief. It’s possible to regain a healthy sleep pattern even while grieving, but it might require you to try some new things.

Tips to Help Your Sleep Patterns

Try sleeping in a new place

There are no rules that say you must sleep in the same bed as you always have. It can be challenging to sleep alone when you have always had a spouse next to you, for example. Try sleeping in a new place, like a spare bedroom, a single bed, on the living room sofa, or at a friend’s house. It might seem strange at first, and it won’t be forever, but sleeping in a new environment might help you to break out of insomnia.

Develop a sleep routine

You might never have had a sleep routine, but if you can develop one, it might help you sleep. For example, you could tidy up your living space, do some pampering and skincare, have a cup of green tea, and do some stretching each night before bed. Repeating this routine each night before bed will calm your nervous system and get your brain into the habit of unwinding.

Your sleep routine can be highly customizable and as long or short as you prefer. Make sure to involve calming activities that bring you joy. However, it is often repetition that soothes an exhausted mind more than the activities themselves.

Try journaling

A large part of grief is feeling like we need closure. There might be things we wish we had said or done, or feelings that we are left with that can’t go anywhere now. Someone once described grief as “Love with nowhere to go.” There might be a lot of feelings besides love that now have nowhere to go.

It can be helpful to express your emotions or thoughts in writing. Alternatively, if you don’t feel up to writing, you could use a voice recording app on your phone to verbally express your feelings. The more you express your thoughts and emotions during the day, the less you have to fill up your mind at night before bed.

Schedule time to feel things

Late nights are often the hardest part of the day for grieving people. As the day winds down and the world is quieter around you, your thoughts become louder, and your emotions feel more overwhelming. You might find that you are fixating on a detail or memory, and try as you might, you can’t let it go and try to sleep.

An important part of grief is to process the thoughts, emotions, and memories you have, but it is disruptive and unhelpful to process these things late at night when you should be sleeping. You can schedule a time during the day to dig into the feelings. Give yourself an hour after work or in the morning on weekends to feel whatever dominant emotion you have.

Lean fully into worrying or feeling fear, anger, sadness, or regret. It’s a bit like taking an overactive child to the park to work their energy out; your emotions need to be felt, but you can choose to feel them at a more appropriate time.

Allow yourself to stop

Sometimes, the best you can do is simply make it to the end of the day. Allow yourself to stop thinking, planning, and worrying, even just for an evening. Tomorrow, you will have enough to worry about, and there is nothing you can achieve before then. Relax, breathe in and out, drop your shoulders, and rest. You have made it this far, and you will only be able to carry on if you take things one day at a time.

Christian Grief Counseling in Huntington Beach

Grieving can be a lonely and isolating experience, especially when those around you don’t seem to understand what you are going through. Thankfully, there is always someone that you can talk to and share your experience with.

Christian grief counseling in Huntington Beach, California is a good option for those in mourning because you don’t have to do anything except share your thoughts. You can go as deep or keep it as shallow as you like, and it will always be a judgment-free zone. Contact us at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling if you would like to find out more about grief therapy in California.

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The Logistics of Grief: Finding Grief Support in Huntington Beach

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When a loved one dies, it often feels like your entire world changes. In the days and weeks that follow, you might find yourself having to manage waves of emotions, conflicting and confusing thoughts, and paperwork and plans that you feel ill-equipped to manage. There is a lot of administrative work to do in grief, some of it ongoing and some brief. Depending on your personality type, the logistics of grief might be a welcome respite from all of the emotions you feel, or it might be a burden to an already weary soul.

When the Logistics Become a Burden

There is something so stark and cold about having to fill in forms with details about the loved one you have recently lost. Hospitals, authorities, and funeral services deal with death daily, and this can cause them to seem blase or heartless about death. It can be jarring to do some of the urgent administrative tasks soon after losing a loved one. There is nothing to prepare you for all the things you might feel at this time.

Few people know beforehand about the specific protocols that happen after death. It’s not unusual to feel overwhelmed or out of your depth at this point. Unfortunately, grief is not a five-step process. It is messy, unpredictable, and life-changing. Most people are still in a state of shock or unbelief as they fill out forms, collect papers, and make plans about their loved one’s remains. It can be a painful, unpleasant, and sometimes frustrating experience.

The Upsides to the Logistics of Grief

While some people shy away from paperwork at the best of times, others lean into the process, relishing the distraction by doing something they are confident about. They might take charge of some of the tasks because their brains work best when dealing with tangible tasks. For them, the administrative tasks of grief are a welcome break from everything else that is going on.

Grief can be taxing on every level, often forcing us to face things we would rather avoid. By contrast, the administrative tasks tend to be brief, usually lasting only two or three weeks after the death of a loved one. There may be financial pressures and expenses, legal complications, or issues with family.

These things are demanding and as emotionally draining as grief. However, dealing with the bare-bones, black-and-white nature of paperwork and planning can be a refreshing break from the emotions of grief.

The administration of grief might include making funeral plans, communicating with relatives, keeping track of money, or sorting through the belongings of the lost loved one. It can be a lot of work for one person to manage, but it can also be therapeutic to handle tasks like these. Compartmentalizing items and checking off tasks is a far cry from the unpredictable emotions of grief, making it an appealing choice for some.

The Rhythms of Grief

Grief intensifies and subsides in waves of emotions. Some days, you will feel almost “normal,” even when you can’t stop thinking of your lost loved one. On other days, you might feel nearly paralyzed by sadness and depression as the weight of their death hangs over you. There are no right or wrong things to think and feel during grief. You might simply feel “lost at sea” for a long while.

Just as the waves of the ocean are constant, so are the rhythms of grief. Though you might feel as if you are drifting without direction after the death of a loved one, the waves will eventually bring you back to shore.

It may be a long journey before you find solid ground again, and it might even be administrative tasks that help anchor you. One day in the future, though, you will find yourself on solid ground, remembering your loved one in a way that makes you feel grounded.

Reaching Out for Help: Christian Grief Counseling in Huntington Beach, California

It’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed by the various aspects of grief. Whether they are practical or emotional, they can be difficult to navigate alone. When your family and close friends are going through the same experience, it might help to begin meeting with a Chistian grief counselor in Huntington Beach, California for support.

Your counselor will help you by giving you a chance to catch your breath, unburden yourself of thoughts and feelings, and find a way to cope. Contact our office today at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling if meeting with a counselor could help you manage your grief.

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How Trauma Therapy Can Help with the Avoidance of Pain

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We have all stubbed a toe or sprained an ankle, gotten bitten or sunburned at some point in the last month. The instant ouch, the resounding throb, and tender joints for days are common for most ordinary people, and the more extreme and active you are, the more likely those will become.

Most of us have also eaten a new delicacy or old favorite, and gotten sick enough to throw it up due to food poisoning, and in future days, months, even decades for some, become so averse to the food, we completely avoid it.

Emotional Pain

Sometimes emotional pain caused by mistreatment while a child, difficult, frightening and uncontrollable things, feeling physical pain above the threshold of toleration, or being inappropriately touched or betrayed by someone, can make our bodies and minds respond similarly, just like becoming averse to food, or nervousness about playing that sport again in case your ankle might hurt again.

We are instinctively averse to things that cause us pain. A conversation about healthy fear versus unhealthy fear and healthy stress response and unhealthy stress response is valid. But for now, we can assert it is true that a powerful force in our mind prompts us to take special note of pain and quickly choose options to deal with it somehow.

Some of the ways we deal with emotional pain are suppressing our feelings, addiction, denial when it comes up, walling ourselves off from more pain or situations, fantasy and daydreaming, and other kinds of avoidance.

What we get from these are anxiety, a feeling of lurking feelings underneath the surface, and hopeless, cynical, antisocial, or isolative behavior. The problem with these is that none of them deal with root causes. All of them look to reduce or avoid symptoms.

Broken Cisterns

In Jeremiah 2:13, God tells the prophet Jeremiah about his people Israel: “For my people have committed two evils: They have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water.”

We can see a parallel to the broken cisterns that can hold no water, to those instances of avoiding pain, our rushed way of acting, but not getting to the root solution. Historically, cisterns were reservoirs or wells that would be built to hold and contain water. God used this metaphor to point out to His people that certain avenues and choices will never truly satisfy and comfort us or support us with the right provision of healing.

Ice cream is great for celebration, but not great for reducing the pain of rejection from people. Leaving in a hurry and swearing at someone to get away might be useful if being chased by an assailant, but not if you need to work a thorny issue with a family member. There is a reason and a season for things that make something an applicable or not-so-applicable choice to cope. The same goes for emotional, mental, and spiritual pain.

What is trauma therapy?

Let’s now take this philosophical topic and distill it to the psychological topic you came here for; how trauma therapy (“trauma” being the Greek word for wound, and so trauma therapy is the attending to the wound) can intersect with pain and help the sufferer face it and cope with it in the right way.

For nearly every theory proposed, tested, and verified in modern therapy, some theorists looked at basic questions like what unhealthiness is, what healthiness is, and useful thinking and feeling, and what is the vehicle of change to go from unhealthy to healthy.

Many theorists looked long and hard at how pain, wounding, fear, and negative habits of the past shaped people’s decision-making, defense mechanisms, and worldviews. They also proposed what they believed were common traits of healthy thinking, responses, and outlooks, and then went to work to derive hypotheses and develop interventions that could become vehicles of change toward healing in some way.

Some looked at reducing the pain and negative symptoms, while others looked at becoming more flexible and accepting negative feelings, and changing one’s outlook about them.

Types of Trauma Therapy

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

For example, TFCBT (trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy), which is an evidence-backed theory for how to help children and teens experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress, has a particular understanding of trauma and how to heal.

The theory lays out an eight-step protocol that starts with educating caregivers about trauma, teaching relaxation skills for a body wracked by trauma, acknowledging emotions around pain and loss for kids, helping enhance adaptive thinking about events, thoroughly describing events through one’s narrative and then incorporating these skills into day-to-day life with the help and support of a support network.

According to this theory, you must come face to face with the wound and address it in trauma therapy, learning new ways to calm the body, understanding the normal mental reactions to trauma, making sense of it, and beginning to readjust to living in the presence of or in the wake of a painful event.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy

Another evidence-based method is called Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which is effective for individuals experiencing big overwhelming feelings in relationships, outbursts, and/or addictions, and also looks to address suffering and the conditions that drive us to act in unwanted ways.

“Radical Acceptance,” a sub theory in this method, suggests that until we wholly accept that a trauma or a wrongdoing occurred in all its detail, we will get stuck in suffering, thinking about why or why not, and why me. While not accepting what happened is understandable initially, over time, it becomes problematic.

The answer this theory offers, is to hold our emotions hand-in-hand with logic and cold hard realities, and find a middle ground of wise behavior called “wise mind” thinking, which listens to the feelings, needs, and urges of the emotional side and balances them with acceptance of fact, to synthesizes them into a new, more adaptive way of thinking. In this theory, neither trying to medicate away feelings nor accepting reality without feeling would benefit healing.

Acceptance And Commitment Therapy

Yet another evidence-based theory called Acceptance and Commitment therapy was based on its founder, Steven Hayes’ experience of having his panic attacks get worse the more he tried to avoid the panic he felt in those moments.

He came to realize that befriending the fearful thoughts, recognizing they were a part of him but not him in totality, and reminding himself of his values and desired path of life that he was committed to, even amid that pain, helped him come out the other side. Flexibility came when there was more than just one way to handle pain, so that he could accept it, and move on, learning along the way and staying true to his beliefs.

12-Step Groups

Lastly thinking of all 12-step groups which have been proven effective over many decades, acknowledging pain and the past, not shutting the door on it, and committing to a plan of action with steps that improve your relationship to yourself, to God and other people, has assisted millions of addicts twisted by avoidance of pain become people reforming into witnesses to their pain but in recovery toward wholeness as recovering addicts.

The Common Factor

What do all these approaches have in common? They don’t advocate avoiding pain in the healing process; they offer strategies to heal through the moments and seasons with pain in it, with acceptance, a different vision, and tools to emerge resilient and more of yourself than you would be if merely avoiding pain.

And still, I want to escape. I still want to escape pain, sadness, and wounding. I want to throw my hands up and ask, “Why?” And that’s okay – it’s human. But the question is whether I can refocus after I acknowledge the real pain I feel so that I can recover.

Bringing back the theological aspect, what might be God’s desire for my handling of this situation? Do we believe that God works all things into our lives for a reason to yield a certain result, if not desiring pain, at least allowing it?

Tim Keller, a renowned late pastor and writer, shared about a time he talked with a psychiatrist friend of his who was feeling stuck in a rut with his psychiatric training. He said one day he looked at his massive textbook and asked, “What if I read this textbook for Christ?”

Suddenly, the friend said, he was thirsty to learn, compare, make connections and insights for treatment out of a sense that he was learning for Christ, thus the fulness of his work was coming out of his response to the question “What if there is more to this textbook than a textbook?”

What if there is more to pain than pain? Keller also goes on in other sermons to describe how the secularized post-modern Western world has precious few resources for explaining, dealing with, and enduring distress. Since, in most of Western culture, pain is meaningless, it should be avoided as an ultimate evil, right?

Christ, as detailed in the Gospels, gave another view. That there “will be trouble” in the world, that pain and sin are inevitable, but that we should ask for deliverance from them at the same time.

As the Serenity Prayer (credited to a 1920’s German preacher Reinhold Niebuhr and read at many 12 step groups around the world) says, the prayerful person asks to start “Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.”

Trauma Therapy Reconsidered

Let us synthesize all of this. In the theology of pain and the healing therapies, we see both a universal issue and helpful ways through it. Be it Dialectical “Radical Acceptance,” CBT reorientation and resilience in facing hard things, or the twelve steps of becoming willing to accept a new path rather than the old one of avoidance and addiction, we see a strange, foreign theme emerge.

This theme is in contrast to avoiding pain and distress at all costs, which the world and our instincts ironically tell us is unavoidable. It is a theme of not clearing out from pain, but grasping it, acknowledging hardship and caring for ourselves in the midst of it, and taking the world as it is, not as we would have it, because that avoidance – that wishing for an alternative reality – keeps us in more pain and bitterness.

One last spiritual picture: If you are not familiar with the story of Job, it is a biblical account that starts with Satan coming to God and requesting to make life difficult for one of God’s chosen people, a blameless and upright man named Job. Satan, the accuser, tries to prove to God that Job, faced with stress, insult, fear, and pain, will surely curse God and not act blameless, for Job was only trusting God (said Satan), because of God’s kindness and material blessings.

What we see instead is a man who endured pain, but cried out to God in anger, but the key phrase is that he cried out “to God.” Job was a man who, though he experienced the pain, remembered to fix his eyes on God, and had faith that God can take our experience and raw expressions of pain and can provide healing and strength through it, not around it.

And the three therapies and the 12-step philosophy listed above all touch on different ways of bearing up underneath the burden of pain in this same way, attending to it rather than avoiding it.

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Exhaustion and Grief: Finding Support in Huntington Beach

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Grief can be a confusing and isolating experience. Your emotions and experiences in grief might feel so alien and unusual that you might wonder if there is something wrong with you. Many people feel this way, and many need to have extra grace for themselves. Not only is grief confusing, but it is exhausting in many different ways. In this article, we’ll look at the interplay between exhaustion and grief.

Exhaustion and Grief: How They’re Related

Drained From the Inside

Exhaustion is a natural aspect of grief because it engages all the facets of who you are. Not only will you experience intense, conflicting emotions, but you will have to figure out many different practicalities that feel at odds with your emotional rollercoaster. Having to arrange finances or travel details while also processing your emotions is exhausting. Huntington Beach Christian Counseling offers compassionate support to help you navigate grief while managing both the emotional and practical challenges that come with it.

Many people need to hear that it’s okay to feel a certain way or to struggle with certain things while grieving. Exhaustion is just one aspect of grief, but it affects people in many different ways for different reasons. As you navigate grief, consider the ways that you might be feeling exhausted, and have some grace and patience for yourself.

Emotional Exhaustion

Some people do not consider themselves to be emotional people, but even they will be confronted with a wave of emotions in grief. Not only are these emotions powerful, but they are persistent. Grief doesn’t pass after a funeral or after a good therapy session. You might have to process a cocktail of conflicting emotions for months and even years while grieving.

One of the most difficult aspects of grief is that it offers no closure. People crave completion, wholeness, and neatness, but in grief, emotions are messy and unpredictable, and closure can be hard to find. You might have emotions that don’t blend well together, like anger and sadness or resentment and gratitude. The sheer weight of all these emotions and their unusual behaviors is exhausting, even for those who usually consider themselves level-headed.

Mental and Logistical Exhaustion

Life doesn’t spare you the space or time to grieve as needed. Many people feel numbed in grief but have to plan, organize, and think their way through things. Funerals need planning, guests need hosting, belongings and properties need to be dealt with, and in the midst of it all, you have to figure out what you are feeling and what to do with those feelings.

All the logistics and planning can be a helpful distraction, and the matter-of-fact aspect of organizing things helps you to accept reality and grieve as you should. However, it is also draining. If you don’t have friends and family members to help with these things, you will benefit from taking an hour each day to sit, breathe, and feel.

Spiritual Exhaustion

There is perhaps no other time in life where you will examine and question your beliefs quite like when you are grieving. People often feel like their foundations have been shaken or even crumbled in the aftermath of loss and tragedy, and it often feels like there is no definitive answer to your deepest questions.

If you do end up confiding in someone trustworthy about your doubts, anger, or fears, you might find their easy answer frustrating and unhelpful. No one mentions how spiritually exhausting grief can be, especially when it causes you to question your worldview.

In biblical times, people would often grieve together for weeks on end, and the cultural expression of prolonged grief was silence. Friends would meet with mourners, stay in their homes, and simply sit with them until they were ready to talk. This comforting silence is what most people need when grieving because sometimes all you need is the quiet comfort of a friend holding space with you.

Physical Exhaustion

If simple, everyday tasks are becoming more difficult to complete and you are always tired no matter how much sleep you are getting, it could be a sign that grief is taking a physical toll on you. We often think of grief as being a mental and emotional experience, but we also experience grief within our bodies. Grief is a physical experience as much as it is mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Grief Counseling in Huntington Beach

Grieving can also be a lonely experience. Sometimes, you just want to be with someone who “gets it.” It might help you to meet with a Christian counselor in Huntington Beach, California. Your counselor will give you space to be yourself and to leave your burdens at the door, even if only for an hour or so. Contact us at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling if counseling is something you would like to learn more about.

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Finding Support When You’re Going Through Grief

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What does it look like when someone is hit with a circumstance that demands they spend time going through grief? The truth is, though there are threads of similarity, it looks different for everyone. There are types, stages, and timing of grief. Whether you or someone you know are currently experiencing grief, below you will find information to assist in what’s to come. Huntington Beach Christian Counseling offers compassionate guidance to help individuals navigate their unique grief journey with hope and support.

Types of Grief

Going through grief is different depending on the type. Different types include sizes, personal or removed, as well as factual or fictional.

Sizes

Light

This type of grief is signified by the incident being marginal and forgettable after a brief period. Whether it is a day, a week, or a few months, life tends to move on quite easily from this kind. This type includes incidents such as a flat tire, broken bone, bad grade, trouble at home, lack of sleep

Heavy

Loss of life, car wreck, loss of job, loss of a relationship, or anything life-changing that takes time to move through make up this type. This is the kind that lingers, and rightly so. You are not without reminders of it for some time after the blow hits. Aside from reminders, you might be required to take an active part in actions required after the circumstance that sparked it, adding to the weight of it.

Over and undersized grief

This type of grief occurs when a person makes too big a deal of something or too little a deal. Your experience of grief does not fit the circumstance. This can be a reaction such as “That person died, so what?” or “I stained my favorite shirt – I can’t possibly go now!”

Personal or Removed Grief

There is the kind of grief that is personal to someone and the kind that is somewhat removed from the person experiencing it.

Both personal and removed grief are felt, and appropriate at times. While removed grief is somewhat vicarious and can be felt in a way that serves to connect individuals in a support network, it is not always easy to overcome because it is grounded in thoughts and emotions that don’t have an actual event to cause them.

Personal grief always has a direct incident to link back to, an intimate connection that is based on personal experience in the moment. Removed grief can have a personal connection to the circumstances, but the timing of the experience for that grief is based on the past as opposed to the current moment for the other person. Removed grief can also be about the present but with less personal connection.

Factual or Fictional Grief

This distinction may be the most difficult for some to distinguish between. Both factual and fictional grief are truly felt. There are real feelings that can be linked in any number of ways to real circumstances that typically also make sense.

The distinction between factual and fictional grief is whether or not any part of it is made up beyond what was real. There is a point in real grief that continues the feelings and thoughts because of a desire for them to continue.

This can lead to a lack of self-care, a reduced reliance on support, a refusal to live the present life as it is, etc. It looks like not just setting aside time to remember, but experiencing the grief over and over as though it just happened.

Stages of Grief

You may be familiar with the stages of grief, but do you know that no two people go through them the same way, even if their grief is the same? Some know the stages of grief by the 7-stage model and some by the 5-stage model. Below are all seven stages to account for both:

Shock – unable to process what has happened
Denial – unable to accept what has happened
Anger – against what has happened or against whom it has happened to
Bargaining – for what has happened to be reversed
Depression – overwhelming sadness about what has happened/without hope
Acceptance – understanding what has happened and that it will not be reversed
Processing Grief – moving through and beyond into healing

Again, none of these stages are always felt in order. One may even cycle through one or two of them more than once or skip some of them altogether.

Timing

Grief is never welcomed

The pain of sorrow and groaning of the flesh, when it goes through a loss, is nothing anyone delights in. The timing of a circumstance that causes grief makes a difference in how one processes it and can make a difference in how one recovers from it.

When tragedy hits upon tragedy

Grief upon grief is a well-known saying for a reason: it happens. The timing of this grief can feel crushing on a whole new level. It can also expand the numbing feeling from one tragedy to the next so that the one experiencing the grief can seem removed from it.

Thoughts that occur during grief are often, “When will it end?” and “How much can one person handle?” One can feel more isolated in their grief during a multi-incidence of tragedy because fewer people can relate to their circumstances.

Expected grief

When grief is expected, certain people feel two waves of grief, one when they are told to expect a tragedy, and another when the tragedy takes its toll. This type of grief, similar to tragedy upon tragedy, can isolate individuals due to feeling insecure about expressing grief because they had time to prepare for the tragedy to strike. They may choose to hold in their grief around others to spare them the cost of bearing the grief with them.

In your best shape

When tragedy strikes during a high in life people going through grief can experience it in two polarizing ways. Some may experience an easier time, remaining functional and dispensing grief throughout a period of time without removing themselves too far from everyday life.

Others experiencing grief while in their best shape can feel as though it was completely unexpected. This unexpected nature of the tragedy can lead to the person taking it overly hard, completely removing them from daily life as they feel they are cast into a pit. In this circumstance, it can take a long time to recover and return to normal life activities and relationships.

When you’re at your lowest

Similar to tragedy upon tragedy, when grief hits someone at their lowest it can often have a numbing effect. It’s one more tragedy to add to the multitude of ailments in life and it doesn’t feel much different from how one feels most days.

There is a chance that someone experiencing tragedy while at their lowest can connect with other healthy individuals during their grief, find support, and see a turnaround for the better because of it.

Getting Help

When you or someone you know is going through grief there are three things to keep as top priorities. The first is to know that no two people experience grief in exactly the same way. This means that there is no wrong or right way.

The second is that for whatever amount of time you or someone else needs to recover, it is important to keep life as simple and basic as possible. The third, and possibly the most important thing is to keep connected with stable, positive, and supportive people who can help you in your low and encourage you to get back to life one step at a time. A Christian counselor at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling can provide the support and guidance you need during this time.

Going through grief is difficult for the best of us. If you need someone to help you during this overwhelming time, please reach out to our team at www.huntingtonbeachchristiancounseling.com to connect with a counselor today.

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Prayers for Seasons of Grief

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There is no rushing the process of grieving. It will take time to process your grief, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. During seasons of grief, caring for your spiritual health is just as important as caring for the rest of yourself. Prayer has been a mainstay for Christians in crisis throughout the centuries, and if you cannot find your own words, you can always borrow those of ages past. Huntington Beach Christian Counseling offers support to help individuals navigate grief while nurturing their spiritual well-being.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18, NIV

If you already have an established practice of prayer, it will become a great comfort to you in this difficult time. If it is not a habit already, there is no reason that you cannot start now. One of the many ways that you could start is simply repeating prayers from Scripture whenever you are in need.

I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief. – Psalm 31:7,9 NIV

But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. – Psalm 10:14, NIV

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. – Matthew 5:4, NIV

If you find certain things trigger your grief such as a location, a beloved item, or a certain time of day, you can use those triggers as a reminder to pray. You are promised comfort, and that comfort may come from surprising sources. Prayer can help you keep your heart and mind open.

Writing prayers or verses down and placing them someplace visible where you will see them regularly is a powerful practice for several reasons.

Firstly, it creates a visual reminder of the words, helping them to become ingrained in your mind. When you see the words regularly, they reinforce their meaning and significance, making them more likely to come to mind when you need them most.

Secondly, having the prayers or verses written down provides you with a tangible connection to them. This can be especially helpful during times of stress or difficulty, as it offers a sense of comfort and support to have something physical to hold onto.

Thirdly, by placing the prayers or verses in a visible location, you create an opportunity for others to see them as well. This can be a way to share your faith and values with others, and it may inspire them to reflect on their own spiritual life.

Ultimately, the practice of writing down prayers or verses and placing them someplace visible is a way to deepen your connection to the divine and to bring the words of your faith into your daily life

From the Book of Common Prayer

Many denominations use this tool for prayer and worship. These particular prayers are from the burial service. You do not have to use the Book of Common Prayer to plan a service, but you can ask for prayer for those who grieve. Even a celebration of someone’s life is not without sorrow for those who will miss their family members.

Grant, O Lord, to all who are bereaved the spirit of faith and courage, that they may have strength to meet the days to come with steadfastness and patience; not sorrowing as those
without hope, but in thankful remembrance of your great goodness, and in the joyful expectation of eternal life with those they love. And this we ask in the Name of Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of comfort: Deal graciously, we pray, with all who mourn; that, casting all their care on you, they may know the consolation of your love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Prayers for seasons of grief include those for the challenging journey of finding ways to cope. For those who have lost a loved one who shared a strong connection with God, prayer can offer a profound source of comfort. Knowing that the person you’ve lost is now in God’s presence can bring a sense of peace and assurance.

When we pray for comfort regarding our loved ones who have passed, we are not only expressing our love and longing, but we are also entrusting them to the care of God. It is a powerful act of faith, believing that their prayers have not gone unanswered and that they are now experiencing the fullness of God’s love and grace.

One of the most comforting aspects of praying while grieving for a loved one who loved God is the assurance that they are no longer bound by earthly limitations. In their earthly life, they may have faced struggles, heartaches, and unfulfilled desires. But now, in the presence of God, they are experiencing a reality that far surpasses anything we can imagine.

Their prayers, spoken with sincerity and devotion during their lifetime, now become a lived experience. The petitions they once offered for healing, guidance, and forgiveness are now realized in the fullness of God’s embrace. The longings they carried in their hearts are now met with eternal joy and fulfillment.

As we pray, we not only honor their memory but also affirm our own faith in the power of prayer and the promise of eternal life. It is a way of finding solace in the knowledge that their faith is now sight as they worship in the presence of God.

From Others

Many Christian writers through the centuries have written about their experiences with grief and sorrow. They have written prayers for themselves and prayers for others. Grieving has been lived by people over and over again. The wisdom of the past can support those grieving in the present.

O God, our help and assistance, who is just and merciful, and who hears the supplications of your people; look down upon me, in my sorrow, and have mercy upon me. I acknowledge and believe, O Lord, that all trials of this life are given for our good.

You know my misery and suffering and to thee, my only hope and refuge, I flee for relief and comfort; trusting to your infinite love and compassion, that in due time, when you know best, you will deliver me from this trouble and turn my distress into comfort, when I shall rejoice in your mercy, and exalt and praise your Holy Name, O Father, Son, and Holy Spirit: now and forever. Amen. – John Chrysostom

Prayer with Friends

When you have a friend in a season of grief, prayer is the most powerful and important way to support them. For many people, the chance to close their eyes and hear others pray is easier than trying to do it themselves. You can also write a prayer for them to read later. The support of others carries people through the worst seasons of grief. You can even ask friends to write out prayers that you can read through in a more private setting if you prefer.

Forming a Practice of Prayer

Practices of prayer can be gathered from around the world. Some people prefer tangible items, such as prayer beads, or a holding cross, to aid in their practice of prayer. Others prefer to take action, such as walking, lighting a candle, or journaling.

Prayer in grief does not even need to include words. Tears, incoherent cries, and even sighs can be understood by God, even if you do not understand them. A practice of prayer does not need to follow the prescribed method of others. Prayer is your way of talking to God, and He listens to all types with compassion and understanding.

Another important part of developing a prayer life is the act of being still. Practicing stillness and listening for the Spirit is an important part of prayer. It is important enough not to neglect. Don’t worry if it is difficult at first. Start with a few minutes of your scheduled prayer time and work on building in more time as you master focusing on being still in the presence of God and listening for Him.

Prayer in Counseling

Christian counseling considers the spirit as well as the mind and emotions. When you meet with a Christian counselor at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling, you can talk to them about the value of prayer in your journey to healing amid grief. Every counselor is unique. Browse our online counselor directory to find one who might be right for you.

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Grieving the End of a Relationship

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Grief doesn’t only occur after the death of someone we love. Grief is an intense emotional reaction to the loss of anyone or anything that once defined our lives in a meaningful way. People may experience grief after losing a job, grief for a country or home they no longer live in, or grief after the end of a relationship.

It may seem melodramatic to call the emotions after a breakup grief but no good comes of minimizing our experiences. It is only as we begin to understand and accept our emotions that we can begin gaining enough closure to move on with our lives. Life may not be the same for a long while after the end of a relationship, but grieving is often key to moving forward. Huntington Beach Christian Counseling offers compassionate support to guide you through the grieving process and help you heal.

Love with nowhere to go

When someone who brought depth, meaning, and richness to our lives is no longer around, it leaves a void. In grief, this void gets filled with sadness, anxiety, depression, or a collection of coping mechanisms that might cause more harm to us. Someone has described grief as “love with no place to go.”

It’s natural to still feel all of the affection, attraction, and fondness for our ex-partner long after things have ended. After a breakup, this affection gets mixed with resentment, anger, guilt, regret, or hopelessness, or a combination of all of these things. It often feels like we have lost the foundation beneath us. The thought of facing life alone without our comfort person makes us feel exposed and vulnerable, along with all the other feelings.

Emotions are messy

Most of us have no choice but to carry on with life as we try to process the end of a relationship and all the feelings that come with it. Many people cope by compartmentalizing their emotions.

They pack all of their thoughts and feelings into a box, put the box out of sight, and try to continue with work and life as best they can. This can be effective for a short time, but eventually, the sadness and grief end up spilling out into our workplace, home life, or sleep schedule.

When we repress emotions, they have a way of escaping. They might show in the form of insomnia, panic attacks, an affected diet or loss of appetite, or emotional outbursts in front of children, family, or coworkers. Our friendships might begin to suffer as we choose instead to stay in, catch up on sleep, or wallow in sadness and self-pity.

Victim or victor

If the relationship ended badly, with fights and harsh words used as weapons, we may even dwell on our feelings of victimhood. Often, we do this because it can feel like vindication, and we might need that type of closure: vindication. If the relationship was toxic or caused harm to us, dwelling on our feelings of victimhood makes us feel like we did nothing wrong.

This is a way we attempt to get closure, but reliving an emotional end to the relationship doesn’t right any wrongs. Remaining in feelings of being the victim (even when we were the victim), can be regressive. We need to process those feelings in an outward way, not keeping them locked up inside.

There is a different path we need to take if our ex was abusive. In this case, they probably left us with scars that need healing. The best place to begin this journey is in therapy with a licensed counselor who can help us navigate that particular grieving process.

Finding support after the end of a relationship

Sometimes the emotions we face at the end of a relationship are a form of grief. Grief is a complex and often messy process that we must find a way through if we are to continue healthily doing life. Minimizing the emotions we have after a breakup is just as unhelpful as wallowing in negative emotions.

Like other forms of grief, we may have to acknowledge that we will always have a special place in our lives for someone we are no longer connected to. If the relationship was abusive or left us with emotional scars, it is best that we get professional help to heal those wounds. It is entirely possible to continue with life after a hurtful breakup, but it might just take some time.

If you are facing grief after the end of a relationship, you might benefit from speaking to a counselor about it. In counseling, you, as the client, determine the depth to which you go in the sessions. Reach out to us at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling today and we will facilitate finding you a counselor in Huntington Beach, California that you feel comfortable with.

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