Professional Coaching Vs. Mentoring Vs. Therapy: What Really Sets Them Apart?

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When people look for guidance in their personal or professional lives, three words come up: professional coaching, mentoring, and therapy. They sound similar, but each serves a different purpose. Knowing the differences helps you choose the right kind of support.

Professional coaching is focused on helping people reach specific goals. A coach works with you to identify what you want to achieve and then helps you create a plan to get there. The coach asks questions that help you think clearly and make confident decisions.

Professional Coaching

Professional coaching is focused on helping people reach specific goals. A coach works with you to identify what you want to achieve and then helps you create a plan to get there. The coach does not tell you what to do. Instead, they ask questions that help you think clearly and make decisions with confidence.

Examples of what professional coaching focuses on:

  • Building leadership skills
  • Improving communication with teams
  • Setting clear career goals
  • Strengthening decision-making
  • Staying accountable to action plans

It is less about exploring the past and more about building the future you want.

Mentoring

Mentoring is different because it relies on the mentor’s experience. A mentor is usually someone who has walked a similar path and shares advice based on what worked for them. Mentoring is often informal and can happen in workplaces, schools, or community groups.

If you are starting a new career, a mentor may:

  • Share stories about their own journey
  • Give tips on handling challenges
  • Introduce you to useful contacts

Mentoring is about guidance through shared experience. It is less structured than professional coaching and more focused on passing down wisdom.

Therapy

Therapy, on the other hand, is designed to support mental and emotional health. A therapist is trained to help people work through clinical issues such as:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Trauma
  • Relationship struggles

Therapy involves exploring feelings, past experiences, and patterns of behavior.

Unlike coaching or mentoring, therapy is not about setting career goals or learning from someone else’s professional journey. It is about healing and understanding yourself more deeply. Therapists use specific methods to help clients process emotions and develop healthier ways of thinking and living.

Key Differences Between Coaching, Mentoring, and Therapy

The biggest difference among these three approaches is purpose. Professional coaching focuses on growth and results. Mentoring focuses on shared experience and advice. Therapy focuses on emotional care and healing.

Another difference is the role of the person helping you. A coach acts as a partner who helps you think and act more effectively. A mentor acts as a guide who shares advice. A therapist acts as a trained professional who helps you work through emotional challenges.

Choosing the Right Support

Choosing between professional coaching, mentoring, and therapy depends on what you need. If you want to grow in your career or improve specific skills, professional coaching is a strong choice. If you want advice from someone who has already walked the path you are on, mentoring is helpful. If you are struggling with emotional health or past experiences, therapy is the right place to start.

It is also possible to benefit from more than one approach. For example, someone may work with a therapist to address personal challenges while also meeting with a coach to focus on career goals. Another person may have a mentor who shares advice and a coach who helps them stay accountable to their plans.

Why This Matters Today

In today’s fast-paced world, people are looking for clear ways to grow and feel supported. Knowing the difference between professional coaching, mentoring, and therapy helps you make better choices about where to invest your time and energy. Each approach has value, but they serve different needs.

Together, they form a set of tools that support both personal and professional growth.

Whatever your unique needs are, mental health support is available in Huntington Beach. Contact us at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling to schedule a session with a mental health professional in California. If you feel unsure where to start, call and ask questions first.

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Beyond the Obvious Red Flags: Why Teen Drug Abuse Is Easier to Hide Than Ever Before

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When assessing potential teen drug abuse, your teen’s overall disposition offers a more telling picture than statistical data. Their bedroom door isn’t left open as much. When they do come downstairs, they answer with one-word responses. You used to know all their friends, but suddenly none of them come over anymore. It’s tempting to write these changes off as typical teenage behavior. I mean, they are supposed to be trying to break away from you, right? Of course, physical changes in behavior are important.

Let’s start with a look at what the statistics have to say about teen drug use.

Teen Drug Abuse in American Homes by the Numbers

Using nationwide data from the CDC and the yearly NIDA Monitoring the Future survey, we can see the extent of drug use numbers facing American parents right now.

Current statistics show a dip in traditional drug consumption levels. But still, the data shows that 1 in 3 teenagers has misused a substance or tried an illicit drug by their senior year of high school. This is because modes of consumption are changing every year.

Did you know that vaping has surpassed other methods as the preferred way teens are using drugs?

Vape pens and edibles together made up nearly 70% of the THC usage for last year’s graduating seniors during their time in high school. Not only can teens vape without emitting a bad smell, but the substances are also easy to hide.

That said, vaping isn’t the only thing parents aren’t seeing. Today, one of the most concerning issues is fake prescription pills. Pills and gummies that teens are taking might unknowingly contain enough potent opioids or synthetic drugs to be lethal.

The Lure of The Instant Off Switch

Any type of drug that can provide someone with an instant numbing or off switch from life is highly addictive. When your teen takes something and instantly feels better, they’ll want to repeat those feelings. They think drugs are their way of numbing big emotions without anyone getting hurt, including themselves.

We know what you’re thinking: “Wait, is my teen not just moody or depressed?” Substance abuse symptoms can mimic or hide emotional health issues. Your teen could appear angry, tired, depressed, or anxious every day. But your teen may not actually be depressed. Your teen’s behavior and mood could be a side effect of using.

The initial rush that drugs provide can feel like the relief your teen is desperate for. But the chemicals they are putting into their bodies to push away their emotions only temporarily mask those feelings. What happens later is that those drugs cause your teen to be unable to produce feel-good chemicals naturally, leading them to feel more anxious and stressed than before.

The Signs of Teen Drug Abuse You Might Not Be Looking For

Drug use isn’t what it used to be. Your teen doesn’t come home smelling like weed or beer. Here are some other red flags you should be looking for:

  • Use of energy drinks to cover up a lack of sleep
  • They are obsessively watching you when you leave specific rooms
  • Constantly charging portable USB batteries
  • They are using excessive amounts of room spray, deodorant, or perfume

Helping Teens Cope with Stress the Right Way

Pay attention to how your teen is feeling. Really listen to what they have to say. Try not to ask questions that assume they are lying.

Say you’ve noticed they spend a lot of time in their room or by themselves. Tell them you love them and you miss them, and ask how their heart feels. Here are some ideas on how you can help your teen replace unhealthy coping mechanisms.

  • Encourage your teen to recognize their feelings rather than burying them.
  • Physical activity can be a fantastic method for the body to process excess cortisol.
  • Encourage them to start simpler hobbies like journaling, reading, or creating art

Christian Counseling for Teens in Huntington Beach, CA

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting your teenager therapy or family counseling.

Therapy can allow your teen to feel like they have a judgment-free zone to open up. Sometimes kids feel like their parents and their friends won’t understand what they are going through. Contact our reception team today to talk about how to get your teenager started.

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7 Successful Aging Secrets of Happy People

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The phrase “successful aging” can be fraught with misunderstanding and lower self-esteem in geriatric populations. However, it aligns with positive psychology. This is focused on mental health factors that contribute to longevity and overall well-being. Research indicates that aging well (in healthful ways) correlates with aging happily.

In other words, happy people have discovered the secrets to successful aging by maintaining lifestyles that promote overall well-being. Here are seven factors that contribute to their wellness:

Happy people are healthy people

This one may seem obvious, but in many research studies, the people who were the healthiest as they aged were also the happiest. It may be that their outlook on life helped their mental health and physical well-being thrive, or that their positive attitudes and experiences contributed to their well-being.

One thing is true: Multiple researchers have placed at least some connection between health and happiness. We can make a similar connection from the Book of Proverbs in the Bible.

Proverbs 17 says, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22, ESV) Another verse in Proverbs links joy to good health: “The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, and good news refreshes the bones.” (Proverbs 15:30, ESV) Focusing on one’s inner life is something everyone can do to take steps toward a life of joy and longevity.

Focus on positive memories

As humans age, we all have selective memories that stick with us (or don’t). Recent research shows that older segments of the population tend to focus on what they remember as good more than young or mid-life adults. This is good news for us as we age!

It shows that not only do we stand to remember more of the good we’ve experienced in life, but we can choose to fix our thoughts on those good, heartwarming memories, which helps us age with more joy. The cyclical effect of positive thought patterns is also echoed in the Bible.

Philippians 4 teaches that our propensity for thankfulness directly affects our peace, and that as we practice focusing on what is noble, excellent, and praiseworthy, our hearts will be at peace.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. – Philippians 4:8-9, ESV

Stay active

This isn’t a secret: most of us know that our activity levels, particularly as we get older, are an important factor in our overall health. However, research shows that the people who are happiest as they age are also those who maintain their commitment to physical fitness.

Whether it’s a 30-minute walk, a 20-minute strength training video, or a combination, choosing a routine you can maintain as you get older will not just improve your physical health but also your mental health. Physical activity promotes the functioning of your hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal (HPA), which reduces cortisol levels.

Research shows that elevated cortisol levels can contribute to anxiety, depression, and PTSD. So, physical exercise helps with successful aging and overall health.

Develop and maintain social connections

You’ve spent a lifetime learning how to make and keep friends, and while life transitions make it harder, this isn’t the time to hold onto a grudge. One study showed that conversations with friends every day were even more pleasant than interactions with marital partners. Friends tended to discuss less stressful topics. Friendship is also associated with an elevated mood.

According to several articles in Forbes magazine, friendships can change as you get older, and that’s okay. In fact, to expect them to stay the same, or not to make any new friends as you age, is unrealistic. Life transition, shifting interests, and widening support networks are all reasons that a friendship may not be what it once was. But many older adults maintain friendships throughout their lifetime.

Keys to that maintenance involve allowing the other person to change, being respectful, resolving conflicts, and continually learning new things together. Learning to make new friends is also valuable, particularly since friendships will be lost as you get older.

Successful aging benefits from having a variety of friend types. Once you retire, it will be more difficult to maintain workplace friendships simply because your season of life shifts. But it can be done, particularly if both people are committed to supporting each other. Outside of co-workers, you can make new friends by volunteering for a cause you enjoy, getting to know the other grandparents of your grandchildren, and looking to befriend someone younger than you.

Younger friends are a benefit that goes both ways. Your capacity to learn new things enlarges as you’re exposed to a younger subset of people, but you can also invest your wisdom into the lives of others who aren’t as far down their journey as you are. Leading others, formally through civic and church groups or informally, such as with a neighbor, is a fantastic way to broaden your relational base.

Consider seeing a therapist for your mental and emotional health

There’s quite a bit of research on subjective well-being and positive psychology, and it tells us that your positive emotions and attitude have a significant impact on your perceived happiness, especially as you age. One study found that how you evaluate your life based on satisfaction varies with attitude, interactions, emotional well-being, and resilience.

The positive side of aging successfully or happily depends on several factors surrounding emotional and mental health. A person’s perception of life and the joy and positivity they feel about it are directly connected to longevity. Essentially, if you’re struggling with anger, sadness, and unhealed wounds from others, it’s essential to see a mental health professional.

Remaining stuck in old patterns or negative emotions can detract from your years, but it can also make the remaining years seem worse than they actually are. Just like you would want to look at a fading photograph through glasses that are clean and clear, you’ll want to approach aging through a mentally and emotionally healthy lens.

You can do this by seeing a licensed counselor regularly. Our offices are equipped with trained therapists who can guide you through this season. When a friend passes away or a family member hurts your feelings or tries to make decisions for you, it’s important to seek wise counsel so you know how to view yourself and those around you. Working through old hurts or present grievances can give you that jump-start.

Pursue new hobbies and activities

While studies are ongoing, preliminary research suggests that learning a new skill like photography, quilting, or creative activities like music and art may benefit your cognitive skills. Unlike recommended memory games, creative activities show promise in boosting more than working memory. They also contribute to a person’s emotional and mental wellness routine by calming agitation and relieving stress.

If you can double the benefit, why not? Consider enrolling in your local community center’s adult classes and workshops to gain the most benefit. You’ll get to meet new people and add to your social network, too.

Get the optimal amount of sleep

Multiple studies tout the benefits of sleep for all ages, but for successful aging, it’s even more imperative to get adequate shut-eye. Not only does sleep affect metabolic and endocrine functioning, but it also influences hormonal levels, which correlate with a person’s mood.

If you’re going for a more joyful aging process, sleep is like the umbrella for all the other choices you make. As you get older, conditions such as sleep apnea may make restful, restorative sleep more difficult. Speak with your clinician to learn about how best to treat underlying conditions.

Successful aging can bring you vitality and discourage ageism in your local community, which ripples down to younger generations. If you’d like a guide to walk you through some of these shifts, contact one of our offices. We can help you find a therapist who specializes in working with older adults.

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What You Should Know About Chronic Anxiety

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Worry, anxiety, and fear are hallmarks of chronic anxiety. People with chronic anxiety feel stuck in the fight or flight response (or the freeze response). They become overwhelmed and anxious disproportionately to the situation. This fear can lead to panic attacks and other conditions.

Do you have chronic anxiety? Professional treatment is available.

What is chronic anxiety?

Chronic anxiety is fear-based worry that surfaces even without a conscious trigger. It is anxiety that runs under the surface. When anxiety is not treated, it can lead to physical, emotional, and mental issues. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is a mental condition that addresses chronic anxiety. If you feel that you cannot relax, always feel “on edge,” or have constant muscle tension, you may have chronic anxiety.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), as many as 301 million people suffer from an anxiety disorder (2019). Forbes estimates this number to have risen to over 314 million people in 2023.

If you suspect that you have chronic anxiety, you are not alone. However, anxiety disorders are manageable.

What is the difference between chronic anxiety and panic attacks?

Chronic anxiety is the underlying tension you may feel even when you are not around a trigger. Your thoughts might race about your worries and fears. The anxiety may keep you awake at night.

A panic attack comes on suddenly. An episode can happen during a stressful event or at the thought of one. At times, you may experience a panic attack without any warning and no conscious thoughts about a trigger.

Symptoms of a panic attack include:

  • Shortness of breath
  • Dizziness, lightheadedness, or feeling faint
  • Chest tightness or pressure
  • Increase in blood pressure
  • Rapid heart rate
  • Chills or hot flashes
  • Trouble swallowing or feeling suffocated
  • Feelings of doom or dread
  • Fear of dying or losing control

You may experience the symptoms of a panic attack for up to 30 minutes after the start. However, specific symptoms, such as rapid heart rate and increased blood pressure, may last a few hours.

Check with your physician after a panic attack to rule out other conditions, as the symptoms of a panic attack can mimic other problems.

What is the treatment for chronic anxiety?

One of the most effective treatments for chronic anxiety is psychotherapy (talk therapy). You can schedule a session with a counselor for one-on-one, couples, family, or group sessions. Depending on your triggers, your counselor may recommend a combination of different types of sessions.

You can also choose between in-person and virtual sessions. As well as incorporating God’s word and promises such as reframing our thoughts and renewing our minds.

Do not conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressive led changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in his plan and purpose for you]. – Romans 12:2, AMP

What you can do to reduce chronic anxiety

Counseling is an effective treatment strategy for chronic anxiety, but lifestyle tweaks can help you to manage symptoms better. You were made for so much more than being bound in fear and worry.

Read through the following list of tips and choose a few to try this week.

Exercise

Exercise enhances your well-being by triggering the brain to release a cascade of feel-good chemicals. This release works like a natural anti-depressant and pain reliever. Have you ever noticed how good you feel after a sweaty workout? That is the brain’s reward system for moving the body.

Check with your doctor before starting a new exercise regimen. Once cleared, aim for at least thirty minutes several days per week to reap the physical and mental benefits.

Journaling

The act of journaling can be enough to relieve stress and tension regarding some issues. Instead of lying awake in bed at night, thinking about problems, consider writing about what is bothering you. You can also try this exercise first thing in the morning. You may see that pouring your worries out onto the page is an effective strategy for removing the topics from the forefront of your mind.

You can keep your journal private or share it with your counselor. You may find that solutions work themselves out after you have written the problem down and can see it more objectively. The act of journaling also helps you to distance yourself from a situation.

Socializing

Anxiety lies to us. It whispers negative thoughts and leaves us isolated. Getting out with a friend for lunch or coffee may be just what the doctor ordered. Socializing with others allows us to listen to what is happening in our friends’ lives and share a few laughs.

When was the last time that you invited friends out for an event? Are there any local events that would be more fun with friends? Invite those closest to you out for dinner or a coffee shop run. Not only is socializing good for your soul, but it may be what a friend needs now.

Not forsaking our meeting together [as believers for worship and instructions], as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more [faithfully] as you see the day [of Christ’s return] approaching. – Hebrews 10:25, AMP

Deep breathing

There seems to be a great deal of social media coverage regarding deep breathing. Everyone seems to be practicing it, but why? Is the practice of deep breathing to relieve chronic anxiety effective? Deep breathing triggers the body’s natural processes for rest.

Deep breathing helps to calm the sympathetic nervous system and activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). The PNS manages the body’s response to rest. After a stressful day or event, the PNS begins the process of relaxing your nerves and state of mind. Your heart rate decreases, as does your blood pressure. Muscle tension begins to dissipate. Your body “resets” itself.

Reading

Reading, particularly fiction, is a form of escapism. It allows you to immerse yourself into a story and temporarily “forget” your worry or fear. When you read a novel, your mind focuses on the story. Your imagination comes to life. The act of reading a story decreases anxiety.

If it has been a while since you have taken the time to read a novel, ask for suggestions from your friends, family, coworkers, and library staff. More people read across several genres, so do not feel awkward if you want to read a Young Adult book as an adult. Find stories that will take you on an adventure. You may want to read before bed or keep your book (a reading app is excellent for eBooks) with you to take little reading breaks throughout the day.

Praying

Praying should not be the last resort when we feel stressed or worried, yet many times it is. Seek God when you feel your anxiety level rising or experiencing a panic attack. You can pray silently or out loud. Thank God for your blessings, and ask Him to forgive you for anything you have said or done that was not in line with His will. God convicts us, but His Spirit does not condemn us as Christians.

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. – Romans 8:1, NKJV

As you pray, believe that God loves and cares for you and works things out for your good and His purpose. Knowing that the One who created the heavens and the earth and everything we see and hear loves and cares enough for us to sacrifice His only Son so that we can have closer access to Him reminds us that we are important to God.

And, putting on the whole armor of God, did you know that God warns us that we would face adversities, and trials, and have many enemies? Those enemies are not flesh but spiritual warfare to steal, kill, and destroy us.

In treatment, we will learn many coping skills to help relax and reduce the intensity of those anxious feelings. God bestowed us with the best coping skills, found in the book of Ephesians. The armor of God includes the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, the sword of the Spirit, and prayer.

Speak up

Chronic anxiety can diminish your quality of life. Answer the following questions to determine if anxiety and worry are interfering with your daily activities:

  • Do you sweat excessively when confronted by a trigger?
  • Does your heart rate increase with thoughts of a trigger?
  • Do you avoid situations, locations, or people?
  • Do you experience panic attack symptoms?
  • Do you experience chronic anxiety symptoms and feelings of dread or doom?
  • Do you feel like this anxiety will last forever?

Chronic anxiety is treatable; we can help you overcome worry, fear, and dread. Contact our office today to schedule an appointment with a counselor specializing in chronic anxiety. Let us help you resume your daily life without fear and with the help of our Yahweh-Rapha – The Lord that Heals (Exodus 15:26).

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Scriptures to Help You Cope with the Loss of a Parent

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It’s the nature of things that those who come before us and precede us in the things of life typically also precede us in death. While it’s typical, and in many ways is expected, that doesn’t mean the loss of a parent is easy, or that one can simply take it in stride. Losing a parent stirs up different emotions, memories, fears, and expectations. Dealing with these as you grieve can be difficult, which is why Scripture can be a valuable support in that journey of grief.

How grief for a parent can get complicated

When someone close to you dies, a significant change has entered your life. If you were not only related by blood, but your relationship was one of healthy intimacy and deep affection, that means the loss of an important source of support, among other things. Your daily routines may be affected, as will important occasions such as the holidays, birthdays, and other moments that you shared.

There are other ways in which the loss of a parent can affect a person, and much of that is tied to the type of relationship one had with their parent. If the relationship was cold and distant, or if you never saw eye to eye with your parent, or if you never knew your parent because you were separated for one reason or another, the death of your parent can stir a range of emotions such as anger, guilt, resentment, as well as regret.

Also, grief over a parent can be complicated if they were sick for a while before they died. You may have started grieving them before they died, which is called anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief is a way to try and come to terms with an impending loss, and it differs from conventional grief because it looks ahead to a coming loss and its implications, while conventional grief looks back to reflect on a loss that has occurred as one tries to come to terms with it.

Despite these complications that can occur when one loses one’s parent, grief is still a process that a person will go through. The shape of that process will differ for each individual, but grief is necessary to deal with the loss in a healthy way.

Shoving down your emotions or trying to avoid your feelings is not a good move. Grief finds a way to manifest in your life, and it can do so in unpleasant ways if you’re not careful. For instance, one can be irritable and blow up at their loved ones because of unresolved anger from the loss.

It is important to recognize grief and to allow yourself to go through the experience of grief. The five stages of grief, initially developed by Elizabeth Kübler Ross, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You may not experience all the stages or experience them in that order, but knowing what grief looks like can help you process it as such.

Finding support from the Scriptures about loss

Experiences of life and death are deeply human experiences. While each person grieves in their own way, the experiences of others aren’t entirely foreign to us, nor are ours so foreign to them that it’s impossible to communicate them adequately.

If this was the case, grief support groups wouldn’t function. When we turn to the Scriptures, we can expect to find human experiences of grief there, and while they may be different from our own, there are enough similarities there for us to glean meaningful support and encouragement.

Many Scriptures address loss and that can be helpful for you as you mourn the loss of your parent. Some of them are as follows:

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words. – 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, NIV

While a believer may grieve the loss of another believer, that grief is a grief marked by hope. That hope is rooted in who Jesus Christ is, and how He has opened a way into eternal life on a renewed heaven and earth.

If your parent was a believer in Jesus, you can grieve them knowing that you will be reunited with them; death is described here as having “fallen asleep”. The idea is to convey that in light of God’s awesome power, being raised from the dead is like being roused from a night’s sleep.

One can have hope because death doesn’t have power anymore. God through Jesus Christ has rendered death as harmless as sleep, and so we don’t have to fear it or be overwhelmed by it.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit – salm 34:18, NIV

Do you believe that the Lord is on your side? In our loss, it can feel true that God is against you, and that He doesn’t care about you. It is good to be reminded that God sees your hurt as you grieve your loss, and not only does He see you, but He is also close to you. God is invested in walking closely with you. When you feel “crushed in spirit” from losing your parent, you can hold onto the hope that the Lord sees and that He is with you.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. – Psalm 73:25-26, NIV

When we lose what is precious to us, it challenges us to reflect on what our foundations are, and what is holding us together, giving us our sense of purpose and peace. The role that a loving parent plays in your life is that of guiding, shaping, and forming you from when you draw your first breath. Losing a parent, especially an engaged parent whom you love deeply can be the worst grief of your life.

The Psalm reminds us that God is our highest good, and He’s our source. When all else gives way, strength can be found in Him.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:3-4, NIV

It’s possible to get stuck in grief and not see the end of the tunnel as you grope around in the dark. These verses remind us that the story we are in has an end, and even if you can’t see where your current situation is headed, God is in control, and He will not only wipe the tears from your eyes, but He will remove death, and everything connected with it, from His good world.

These assurances can hold you together as grief breaks you apart, and they can be a vital support to challenge unhelpful thoughts that might mire you in one stage of grief or another.

Grieving the loss of a parent with help from a Christian counselor

The loss of a parent can be an incredibly painful experience and one that is difficult to move on from. This is true regardless of the relationship you had with your parent. If you find that you’re feeling stuck in your grief after the loss of a parent, consider talking to a Christian grief counselor who can help you by creating a space for you to process your painful emotions and move forward in a healthy way.

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“Yellow Flowers”, Courtesy of Iván C. Fajardo, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; 

The Grieving Process: Working Through Loss from a Faith-Based Perspective

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After losing his wife to cancer, C.S. Lewis wrote an extended reflection on grief called A Grief Observed. In it, he wrote, “For in grief nothing ‘stays put.’ One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?” The grieving process is often bewildering and disorienting for those who experience it.

Grief can leave a person feeling like they’ve been turned around while in a fog, and they keep passing the same landmarks again and again. The feelings they first felt ebb and flow; sometimes it feels like progress has been made, only to feel overwhelmed again. All this may be true, but grief is a necessary process you must go through to come to terms with loss. Things can and do change, but you must trust the process.

The Necessity of Grief

The world we live in is marked by loss and suffering. God’s good world has been marred by sin and death, and we feel the sting of death in its many manifestations (Genesis 3; 1 Corinthians 15). Relationships break down, as loved ones are estranged, married couples separate and divorce, and conflict ends years-long investments in one another’s well-being. Dreams get shattered, leaving one feeling forlorn and without hope.

Not only that, but loss also happens when meaningful connections and relationships, whether with people, a place, or a community, come to an end. Moving away from the home and community you’ve known and loved can be a gut-wrenching experience. It seems like loss comes to us in many forms, and our lives are a constant journey that’s punctuated with things and people that we leave behind, or that leave us behind.

Into all of this, grief comes as a necessary process to help us deal with loss. If we experienced every loss as keenly and with as much force years down the road as when the loss first occurred, it would be entirely overwhelming. Grief helps us to gain distance, perspective, and healing from loss. Grief never erases the loss, and you will always feel the absence of a loved one, but it allows you to live and see the light again.

The Grieving Process

Grieving doesn’t erase the pain of loss, but it does help you to cope with it. When you form a connection with someone or something, your heart, your life, and your being are entwined. Losing them is like losing a piece of yourself, as painful as any physical trauma or injury can be. Like a physical injury, it’s a shock to the system, and it takes time to come to terms with the fact that you’ve been marked for life by what has happened to you.

The process of grieving is the slow, circuitous journey of making sense of your loss and learning to live in the new reality you’ve been thrust into. As C.S. Lewis noted, it can feel like you’re emerging from a phase, but it keeps recurring. It can feel like you keep thinking the same thoughts and feeling the same feelings, over and over again. However, though it may seem interminable, you are making progress.

The Swiss American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross pioneered near-death studies, and she was the one who came up with the theory of the five stages of grief as she observed how her terminally ill patients faced the prospect of death. These five stages don’t delineate a straightforward, step-by-step process that every grieving person goes through. It simply plots out the different emotions and experiences people typically have with grief.

The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. At first, one might refuse to accept that the worst has happened or is happening. Instead of accepting it, it is preferable to cling to an alternative reality in which the loss hasn’t happened. When denial is no longer tenable, one can easily feel frustrated with the situation, themselves, God, or the person they’ve lost.

In the third stage, bargaining, one holds onto some hope that the loss can somehow be avoided, that perhaps something can shift and change things. This could mean trying to make a deal with God that if you change, or if He just gives you more time with your loved one, you’ll change or do things differently.

In the fourth stage, depression, one might begin giving in to despair. Despair that things will get better, despair that joy will ever be a lived reality again, and feeling a sense of futility about life. This can yield to the fifth stage, where one embraces their situation and recognizes that they’ll be okay. Life won’t be the same, but it will go on.

These stages aren’t as clear-cut as this, and they don’t flow easily from one to the next. In fact, you might find that in your experience, you went straight into stage two, then into stage four. For many others, they move back and forth between the stages, triggered by various daily experiences, and with varying intensity.

Christian Grief Counseling in Huntington Beach, CA

Grieving isn’t a straightforward process, and you can find yourself stuck and unable to function in daily life. You can find help in the form of grief support groups or by talking with a grief counselor in Huntington Beach, California.

Talking with someone about what you’re going through can help you to process it, understand it, and yourself better, and help you identify where you’re struggling. Your counselor can help you to find healthy ways to cope with loss. To schedule an appointment with a therapist in Huntington Beach, contact us today at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling in California.

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Ideas for First Dates in Huntington Beach, California

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Starting a new relationship is exciting and sometimes scary. Some of us are new to the dating world, and we might feel all the pressures that come with going out with someone for the first time. Maybe we are starting over again after a divorce, and the idea of dating someone new is nerve-wracking because we have been out of practice for so long. Regardless of our past, we could all benefit from hearing some fresh ideas for first dates.

Great Expectations

A first date in Huntington Beach is not about having one perfect night where everything falls into place. Movies and love songs might have shaped our ideas of romance, but real life is usually more ordinary. A first date is simply about spending time doing something fun with someone we like. We might hope for a future with this person, but first, we need to get to know them and give them the chance to know us.

A healthy approach to a first date is to be intentional, but open-minded. Focus on the present tense – the time you spend together, the activity you do, and most of all, focus on the person you’re with. Doing this takes the pressure off of both of you and lowers the expectations of something having to happen on this one date.

Things to Consider

Some cultural expectations and traditions dictate a lot of how a relationship grows. For example, some come from a tradition where it is considered up to the man to invite the woman on a date, to pay for it, and perhaps even to organize all the details of the date, like restaurant reservations and transportation.

Each relationship and marriage has its own culture and tradition, just as every individual has their own values. The only correct way to navigate a romance is to do what you both agree on. That could look like splitting the check for dinner, each using their transportation to get there, or the woman asking the man out. The key is mutually agreeing on details that work for you as individuals.

Ideas for First Dates in Huntington Beach, California

Dates in Huntington Beach, California, require a certain amount of imagination and some planning, but they don’t need to be lavish or elaborate. Remember that the goal is for both of you to have an enjoyable time and to get to know each other in a new way. You want the choice of activity to reveal something about yourself, but you also want to consider your date’s preferences and personality.

A Personalized Activity

Involving your date in a personal aspect of your life is a way of showing something about yourself. For example, if you have a practical trade, skill, or interest, you could spend a bit of time showing it to your date. Woodworking, painting, painting pottery at the Hidden Talents ceramic studio in the Huntington Harbour Mall, or gardening are great activities to do together. Some of the most memorable dates get us out of our comfort zones a bit.

The Great Outdoors

Rather than dinner and a movie, you might want to plan for brunch and a hike or a beachside walk along the Huntington Beach Pier. Long periods of face-to-face communication can be intense, and spending two hours in a theatre might not be the best way to get to know someone on a first date. Physical activity on a date facilitates side-by-side communication, as well as stimulates feel-good chemicals like endorphins and serotonin.

Your Date’s Preference

We don’t always know ahead of time what our date’s preferences are. They might be introverted, preferring quiet spaces and activities like board games at home with a homemade meal. They might like action and noisy stimulation like a sports game at a stadium or a concert. It can be nice to plan a surprise date, but it might be more practical to run an idea by them before.

Don’t take it personally if they say they’d rather not do your planned activity. Remember that this is an opportunity to learn about them. Asking them about their preferences shows that you care about their interests and plan for the date to be enjoyable for both of you.

Christian Couples Counseling in Huntington Beach

A first date in Huntington Beach is less about the activity you do and more about the experience you have. Date activities are best when they facilitate some kind of communication between the two of you. A first date might be the first step on a long journey, but at least it can be a memorable day spent with a new friend.

For some, the idea of dating brings up issues from our childhood or past negative experiences. Most of us would benefit from working on our issues and fears as a means of strengthening or preparing for healthy romantic relationships.

If you have questions or concerns about dating or relationships, or if you simply need someone to talk to, we can help. Reach out to our office today at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling, and we can connect you with a professional Christian counselor in Huntington Beach who can provide that tool to grow.

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Traumas That Get Invalidated: Finding Faith-Based Support After a Traumatic Experience

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There are many events a person can go through that might seem ordinary on the surface, but they can be a serious traumatic experience. Sadly, so many of these trauma-inducing experiences are so common that they have become accepted as “normal,” and you may feel like you shouldn’t be traumatized or even deeply affected by them.

When you begin looking into your history, you might find that one or more of these experiences impacted you in a traumatic way. Confronting your emotions connected to these events might help free you from shame.

Types of Invalidated Traumatic Experiences

These are common experiences that most of us have faced. Someone else might have had a similar experience without being traumatized, but that doesn’t mean you should feel ashamed for how you reacted. We can’t always avoid feeling traumatized by something, and it might take years to understand how deeply we were affected. You are not weak, strange, or melodramatic for having been traumatized by these things.

Losing a Job or Being Unemployed

Many jobs will sanitize their language when firing someone by telling them, “We’re letting you go.” That underscores what it feels like to be fired or out of work for any time: you feel worthless or like your value as a person has been rejected. Regardless of our attitude or experience with certain jobs, being unemployed or fired can be a truly traumatizing experience, fraught with fear, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

Poverty and Debt

Perhaps few realize just how traumatic unemployment, poverty, and debt are because they are so common. One of the most fundamental aspects of trauma is feeling like the world is an unsafe place. For those who don’t have the security of knowing how they are going to pay rent this month, let alone get out of crippling debt, the world feels like an unsafe place.

Overworking

To avoid falling into debt or poverty, many people are forced to work two or three jobs, often while being single parents. Though it might be the norm, working multiple shifts for little pay without rest is traumatizing. When you feel as though you are giving every ounce of your resources and who you are as a person simply to ensure that you don’t end up in worse living conditions, you are experiencing trauma.

Being a Victim of Bullying

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, but perhaps the worst bullies are the ones with positional authority. We can deal with internet trolls by simply logging off, but when your bully is a boss, manager, teacher, or parent, you are often left with no other choice than to face the bullying and harden yourself.

Bullies tend to have a lot of unaddressed trauma in their lives, but rather than face it and begin dealing with it, they choose instead to criticize, blame, manipulate, and shame those around them, sometimes even their children.

Having Parents Who Fought Constantly

Some of us grew up in homes where conflict was commonplace. We might have heard our parents or family members say truly awful things to each other or use physical violence on each other. Regardless of how we reacted at the time, these experiences tend to stick with us for decades, affecting our view of others and impacting our ability for intimacy.

The End of a Friendship

Many people have experienced the pain of a breakup, but sometimes, it is the breakups we have with friends that impact us the most. Our friends are often a part of our lives for longer than our romantic partners, and we might find it easier to trust in and rely on them than anyone else in our lives. Losing a friendship, even through something like a disagreement or grave misunderstanding, can impact us deeply for years.

Losing a Pet

The passing of a beloved pet can seriously impact our mental health and emotional well-being. Some people might invalidate this trauma by claiming human life is more significant than an animal’s, but pets impact our lives on the same level as family members and friends. Losing a pet can be a genuinely traumatizing experience that can take a long time to get past.

Finding Healing After a Traumatic Experience

If you would like to find a safe place to begin talking about your traumatic experience, we can help. At Huntington Beach Christian Counseling, we can connect you to one of the highly qualified counselors in Huntington Beach who are ready to walk with you through your trauma. If you would like more information, please don’t hesitate to contact us by phone or email. You are not alone.

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5 Ways to Improve Your Sleep Patterns While Grieving

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It’s not uncommon for people to experience sleep problems while grieving. You might feel physically exhausted but unable to fall asleep because your mind is racing, or maybe because it feels strange to be sleeping alone for the first time in years.

Sleep is a valuable thing for those grieving because there is often so much change to adapt to and emotions to process in grief. It’s possible to regain a healthy sleep pattern even while grieving, but it might require you to try some new things.

Tips to Help Your Sleep Patterns

Try sleeping in a new place

There are no rules that say you must sleep in the same bed as you always have. It can be challenging to sleep alone when you have always had a spouse next to you, for example. Try sleeping in a new place, like a spare bedroom, a single bed, on the living room sofa, or at a friend’s house. It might seem strange at first, and it won’t be forever, but sleeping in a new environment might help you to break out of insomnia.

Develop a sleep routine

You might never have had a sleep routine, but if you can develop one, it might help you sleep. For example, you could tidy up your living space, do some pampering and skincare, have a cup of green tea, and do some stretching each night before bed. Repeating this routine each night before bed will calm your nervous system and get your brain into the habit of unwinding.

Your sleep routine can be highly customizable and as long or short as you prefer. Make sure to involve calming activities that bring you joy. However, it is often repetition that soothes an exhausted mind more than the activities themselves.

Try journaling

A large part of grief is feeling like we need closure. There might be things we wish we had said or done, or feelings that we are left with that can’t go anywhere now. Someone once described grief as “Love with nowhere to go.” There might be a lot of feelings besides love that now have nowhere to go.

It can be helpful to express your emotions or thoughts in writing. Alternatively, if you don’t feel up to writing, you could use a voice recording app on your phone to verbally express your feelings. The more you express your thoughts and emotions during the day, the less you have to fill up your mind at night before bed.

Schedule time to feel things

Late nights are often the hardest part of the day for grieving people. As the day winds down and the world is quieter around you, your thoughts become louder, and your emotions feel more overwhelming. You might find that you are fixating on a detail or memory, and try as you might, you can’t let it go and try to sleep.

An important part of grief is to process the thoughts, emotions, and memories you have, but it is disruptive and unhelpful to process these things late at night when you should be sleeping. You can schedule a time during the day to dig into the feelings. Give yourself an hour after work or in the morning on weekends to feel whatever dominant emotion you have.

Lean fully into worrying or feeling fear, anger, sadness, or regret. It’s a bit like taking an overactive child to the park to work their energy out; your emotions need to be felt, but you can choose to feel them at a more appropriate time.

Allow yourself to stop

Sometimes, the best you can do is simply make it to the end of the day. Allow yourself to stop thinking, planning, and worrying, even just for an evening. Tomorrow, you will have enough to worry about, and there is nothing you can achieve before then. Relax, breathe in and out, drop your shoulders, and rest. You have made it this far, and you will only be able to carry on if you take things one day at a time.

Christian Grief Counseling in Huntington Beach

Grieving can be a lonely and isolating experience, especially when those around you don’t seem to understand what you are going through. Thankfully, there is always someone that you can talk to and share your experience with.

Christian grief counseling in Huntington Beach, California is a good option for those in mourning because you don’t have to do anything except share your thoughts. You can go as deep or keep it as shallow as you like, and it will always be a judgment-free zone. Contact us at Huntington Beach Christian Counseling if you would like to find out more about grief therapy in California.

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The Connection Between a Healthy Mind and Nutrition

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The connection between a healthy mind and nutrition runs deeper than most of us often acknowledge. Many of us have experienced a moment when we realized that what we eat matters more than what we feel in our stomachs. We know that instinctively, stress drives us toward comfort foods, and a heavy meal leaves us feeling sluggish.

We are now beginning to discover, through modern research and ancient wisdom, that the foods we choose shape our emotional landscape and clarity of thought just as much as they shape our bodies. This is not about striving for perfection with rigid eating rules. It is about recognizing how we nourish ourselves physically and the consequences it has for our mental and emotional health.

Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? – 1 Corinthians 3:16, NASB

The body and mind work together

Western medicine separated physical health from mental well-being, operating on the assumption that they functioned independently. We treated the body with nutrition and exercise and addressed the mind with counseling and medication. This division does not reflect the reality of how God created both aspects of our bodies.

Our brains require fuel to manage thoughts, regulate emotions, process memories, and maintain focus. If our diet lacks essential nutrients or relies heavily on processed foods and unhealthy fats, our brain will struggle to function at its best.

Diets high in refined carbohydrates promote inflammation, which impairs brain function and worsens mood disorders. Our gut produces most of the serotonin that regulates mood, sleep, and appetite, meaning digestive health directly influences our emotional state.

This inflammation contributes to cognitive decline and worsens symptoms of depression and anxiety. When inflammation is reduced through better nutrition, it’s not a quick fix but a pathway toward improvement. More research is being conducted daily to establish a link between inflammation and mental clarity.

Christian counselors have been trained to recognize that caring for mental health also requires addressing the whole person, and this includes what we consume. Stewarding our bodies acknowledges that God designed us so that physical choices affect our mental and emotional being.

Neglecting our nutritional needs is one way we work against our capacity for peace, clarity, and emotional balance. Studies comparing traditional diets, such as the Mediterranean pattern, with typical Western eating habits have shown that people who follow a diet rich in vegetables, fruits, grains, and fish have a lower risk of depression. This wasn’t a slight difference. It represented a substantial shift in mental health based on food choices.

We don’t have to follow a strict diet or eliminate entire food groups, but we do have to understand that what matters more than the individual meals are the patterns.

When Food Becomes the Problem Instead of the Solution

What we eat and how we feel have a relationship that moves both ways. Mental health struggles can lead to changes in how we eat, and poor nutrition contributes to worsening mental health challenges. An appetite can be dulled or driven toward sugar and comfort foods by depression in hopes of temporary relief. The reality is that symptoms worsen over time for both the mind and the body.

Eating patterns can be disrupted by anxiety, which leaves some people unable to maintain regular meals, while others turn to food to manage the overwhelming emotions. This results in a cycle that is difficult to break without recognizing both sides of the situation. Someone who is struggling mentally may find it difficult to make intentional food choices because it feels like one more impossible task.

Christian counselors help individuals facing depression or anxiety understand that dietary changes, along with other treatments, provide meaningful support, removing obstacles that complicate recovery. We can make good choices and rely on God’s help for restoration:

“For I will restore you to health And I will heal you of your wounds,” declares the LORD… – Jeremiah 30:17, NASB

Building a Healthy Mind Through Daily Choices

Lasting changes do not require overhauling our entire diet overnight. This change requires minor, consistent adjustments that will grow into significant improvements over time. We do this by eating regular meals that will prevent blood sugar drops that trigger irritability, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating.

Whole foods, which provide vitamins, minerals, healthy fats, and fiber, help our minds function well. Complex carbohydrates maintain steady blood sugar and stable moods, while lean proteins supply amino acids necessary for regulating thoughts and emotions.

Omega-3 fatty acids support brain structure and reduce inflammation. This means that choosing foods like cold-water fish and some nuts helps reduce inflammation. Brain function and emotional regulation will benefit significantly from these anti-inflammatory properties.

All of the choices we make, even the foods we eat, matter to God. No matter what we do, it should be for His glory:

Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. – 1 Corinthians 10:31, NASB

Dramatic dietary changes typically backfire because we cannot maintain unrealistic standards. The goal is to progress toward choices that support our mental health. Small, manageable changes can lead to an overhaul of our eating patterns.

Even water is essential for our overall health and hydration. Mild dehydration can affect mood, energy, clarity, and thinking. God designed our bodies to need consistent fuel throughout the day, not the feast-or-famine pattern most of us engage in during the workday. These patterns leave us running on empty for hours at a time. Making informed choices about food and water requires intention but leads to better overall health.

The Spiritual Dimension of Physical Care

When we care for our bodies, it affects our minds and spirits. God did not create us with disconnected parts. We are whole beings – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual – that work together.

Neglecting our physical needs while expecting to thrive spiritually and emotionally misaligns with how we’re designed. Being exhausted or malnourished makes it hard to engage fully in life. Good nutrition allows us to live fully and to serve more effectively. When we see things from this perspective, nutrition shifts from a burden to an opportunity.

When we change eating habits, we often find deeper patterns in how we relate to stress and emotions. Food carries meaning beyond nutrition, including comfort, celebration, and identity. To make change, we must acknowledge these connections.

When we experience difficult emotions, we tend to reach for foods that provide temporary soothing but lead to long-term problems. We must learn to recognize these patterns without judgment. This process takes time and often benefits from support.

The connection between a healthy mind and nutrition isn’t about guilt or shame. It’s about understanding how our food choices influence mental well-being. Each meal is an opportunity to choose foods that support our health. There will be some days that are easier than others, but what matters is the overall direction and the gradual shift toward patterns that serve us better. He leads us toward a healthy mind and body.

Little by little, choice by choice, we can be transformed:

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. – Romans 12:2, NASB 1995

You can change

The connection between a healthy mind and nutrition isn’t just a discovery or trend. It is how God designed us to function as a whole when He created us as physical beings. Professional treatment for mental health challenges doesn’t replace choosing foods for a healthy mind. It provides another pathway toward wellness.

Small, consistent changes can turn into meaningful improvements as we add more whole foods and eat regular meals to nourish our bodies and minds. This is an act of stewardship that honors the body and mind that God gave us. We desire to move toward patterns that support a healthy mind. We are making choices that serve us well and bring fresh chances to nourish our bodies each day.

If you want help with ways to make healthier choices, a Christian counselor on this site can help. Connect with the team to learn how to get started today.

References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rhythms-of-recovery/202305/4-nutrition-lessons-for-mental-health
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/nutritional-psychiatry-your-brain-on-food-201511168626
https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/nutrition
https://www.sutterhealth.org/health/nutrition/eating-well-for-mental-health
mhanational.org/resources/eating-well-being/
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/diet-and-mental-health-can-what-you-eat-affect-how-you-feelPhotos:
“Healthy Breakfast”, Courtesy of Hans, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License; “Salad”, Courtesy of Getty Images, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License; “Fruit Cup”, Courtesy of Yulia Khlebnikova, Unsplash.com, CC0 License